Why is my husband so reluctant to touch me?

Why is my husband so reluctant to touch me

Why is my husband so reluctant to touch me?

Why is my husband so reluctant to touch me?

One of the most effective methods to preserve closeness in a relationship is via sex. In addition, it might be depressing to see that your spouse has lost interest in you sexually. Alternatively, your spouse has not initiated sex in some months. You would, without a doubt, be concerned.

You most likely have a slew of ideas flying through your head at this moment.

For example, ‘Does he still think me attractive?’ is one of the questions. ‘Will there be a divorce in the horizon?’ ‘Is he having an extramarital affair?’

The fact of the matter is that change is a constant in all long-term partnerships. This encompasses the sexual habits of a pair as well as their relationship. Men are often considered to be more sexually inclined than women. Although being in a long-term relationship brings about changes, there may be other variables at play that are contributing to your inability to feel loved and appreciated.

Consequently, I’ve come up with a list of possible answers to the query “Why won’t my spouse touch me?” Continue reading to learn about some viable solutions.

1. He has a high degree of stress.

Men are fascinating animals. After a stressful day at work, a lady may want to unwind by spending the night with her spouse or family doing something enjoyable. Men, on the other hand, cope with weariness in a unique way. Men have a reputation for being emotionally distant and physically withdrawing from women.

As a result, it’s not surprising if your partner doesn’t want to snuggle. This is due to the fact that he is coping with a variety of issues that he may not have shared. That is, however, how his gender deals with stress.

2. You don’t let him define love as he sees it.

Because we all came from various backgrounds, viewpoints, and ideologies, we all have distinct backgrounds, perspectives, and ideologies. As a result, when the term “intimacy” is spoken, it may connote an emotional connection rather than a physical one. To another individual, however, it denotes physical intimacy rather than emotional bonding. The problem is that they are both correct.

Let’s imagine you want two individuals to show you what closeness means to them. They’d do it from their point of view. So, if you think your boyfriend no longer loves you, reconsider. He may still love you, but you aren’t paying attention.

3. You’re clinging.

A clinging lady is the last thing a guy wants. Almost every guy admires an independent lady. Your partner may avoid touching you because you are needy. Men value their personal space, and a woman who constantly demands attention may be irritating. It’s a complete turnoff. This is because your spouse will believe that no matter what he does, it is never enough.

If that’s the case, he’ll give up. This is because you’ll be nagging him anyhow. It’s possible that’s why your spouse won’t touch you.

4. He has a sluggish libido.

Low libido refers to a lack of desire for sex. Every marriage requires sexual closeness. This is because it keeps couples together.

I’m sure you couldn’t keep your hands off each other before being married (or dating). However, as time passes, the frequency of these events has decreased. Low libido is a regular occurrence, according to scientists. However, things might become a lot worse.

It might be caused by a variety of things, such as depression, age, medical conditions, and so on. As a result, this might be one of the reasons your spouse won’t touch you.

5. He’s having an affair 

It’s probable that if your partner isn’t sleeping with you, he’s getting it from someone else. The majority of males want to enjoy sexual intimacy two or three times each week. If he isn’t asking sex as often as he used to, you should be concerned.

The issue is whether your boyfriend will be forthright about his affair. Cheaters aren’t always forthcoming about having an affair outside of the partnership. However, you should be able to recognize the warning signals on your own. He may not be interested in you if he is sexually pleased elsewhere.

6. There are issues with relationships

No partnership is without flaws. Trouble is sure to arise in Paradise at some point. And this might have an impact on the relationship’s satisfaction.

You can bet that if your spouse goes to bed furious, he will not cuddle you that night. Couples who are typically intimate feel closer to one other than those who are not.

Similarly, if there are unresolved grudges in your relationship, your body will not get any love.

7. He wants to have a unique experience.

Again, it’s possible that your spouse isn’t touching you because he’s bored with the whole sexual encounter. When you two get close, it’s always the same old thing. There is no enjoyment. As a result, when he becomes physical with you, he doesn’t obtain the pleasure he desires.

The sticking point is that he wants to explore other aspects of his sexuality with you, but you’re probably not interested. He may be hesitant to touch you because of the lack of diversity and inventiveness in the bedroom.

8. He’s having issues.

He’s got issues.
It’s also likely that your boyfriend is dealing with certain health concerns that are generating sexual difficulties in the bedroom. Men, on the whole, prefer to keep such matters to themselves.

They don’t want others to feel sorry for them. As a male, this will make them feel helpless. Guys like to be the dominant man in their relationships.

When they lose their ability to sexually prove themselves, it may be detrimental to their self-esteem. Other instances, his unwillingness to get intimate with you might be due to a medicine that prevents him from being sexually accessible.

9. He doesn’t believe he is wanted.

Everyone enjoys feeling needed. This emotion is not exclusive to one gender. It’s conceivable that your boyfriend doesn’t think you want or need him.

And if he isn’t touching you, it’s either because you’ve turned down his sexual approaches many times or because he is always the one who initiates the intercourse.

It’s exhausting. So maybe he’s letting you be because he’s afraid of the rejection he’ll get if he tries to start any closeness.

10. You do not make an attempt to seem irresistible.

What men perceive guides them. So, if your spouse isn’t physically loving your body, it’s usually because of how you dress for bed. You make no attempt to seem attractive. You’ll be regarded like a nun since you constantly dress up like one.

His lack of interest might possibly be related to your poor hygiene. Every excellent wife has the ability to be the default picture in her husband’s mind. It’s possible that how aesthetically beautiful you are can help you achieve this.

11. Familiarity

They believe familiarity creates contempt. You and your partner may have been together for five, ten, or even twenty years. It’s really simple to fall into a habit. And this might have an impact on your partner’s physical closeness.

Marriage does evolve over time. However, as you two become friends, it’s easy to lose track of your sex life.

And that friendship, although beneficial to the relationship’s emotional health, would eventually lead to a sexless marriage.

Is Lack of Affection Ruining Your Relationship How To Save A Frustrated Couple

As soon as a couple is married and has kids, no affection can occur.

Forgetting about the need of regularly softly touching their companion, couples frequently retreat within themselves.

Hundreds of couples have told me how their devotion for their children has shifted. Of course, non-parent couples also suffer from a lack of marital intimacy.



A romantic relationship or marriage, for many individuals, is distinguished by physical intimacy.

Many individuals are suffering quietly (or, let’s be honest, while fighting fiercely) from contact deprivation owing to social isolation and COVID-19 stress and anxiety this year.



What is a lack of affection or touch?

It’s a true ailment that occurs when individuals don’t get enough contact from others.

Physical affection is no longer as powerful or sought in your relationship due to lack of love.

As Dacher Keltner, a psychologist at UC Berkeley, puts it: It’s been shown that friendly contact reduces tension. Your immune system is improved, digestion is improved, and sleep is improved when you get positive contact. It also helps you empathize by activating brain areas.”



What makes people dislike each other?

In certain cases, people’s emotional health changes, causing them to show less love in their relationships.

Nobody is alone in wanting to be hugged, kissed, or otherwise touched, especially when there is no love in the relationship.



Touch Matters In Relationships

It is unlikely that a relationship formed on affection would last if the love is suddenly lost.

Couples need affection to connect and feel closer to one another. Touch and love are vital in a happy marriage.

You may feel lonely, irrelevant, and unloved, while your spouse seems distant, cold, self-centered, and/or only interested in the kids.

Couples that lack affection are likely to grow apart. You may save a marriage from a lack of love by reading on.



A lack of love in your relationship may upset marriage counselors or well-meaning friends, so have a serious talk with your spouse.

Your partner either did not know or suddenly forgot that you like affection! Maybe they were unaware they weren’t giving you love.

What does your wife’s lack of affection mean? You’ve got a problem in your marriage or your wife’s mental health. Affectionateness is a learned skill. Maybe you’ve tried it in your own relationship and know it works. It may really drive your spouse away.

What to do if your spouse isn’t showing you enough affection?

1. Quit mentioning it.

It will not alter by talking about it periodically. Contrary to what many relationship experts suggest, blaming your partner for not being affectionate enough won’t work long-term.

If you’ve ever begged for love and received it only on the basis of demand, you’ll understand what I mean. The fact that my lover only embraced or kissed me when I pressed him used to make me feel even more lonely

You want your partner to be loving and touch you. You know, when someone persists on hugging or kissing you on the cheek when you don’t want to? It’s a chore.

You yearn to be touched and desired if you’re angry about your spouse’s lack of love. The more you command your spouse’s devotion, the more you may detect their reluctance. That hurts a lot when you notice it.

“What’s wrong with me?” I used to ask myself while I was in the relationship I described before. “Why am I so needy?

My advise is simple: don’t ask for love. It hurts you and alienates you from your relationship.

Instead of complaining, take their lack of affection as an indication that they may not be loved by you.

Your physical affection may not be high on their list of ways to feel appreciated, even if you are loving. It’s possible they need other kind of support and affection.

They may also be restraining their control emotions. Prevent yourself from telling them what to do or becoming annoyed about their conduct by doing it for them. like thanks, respect, space, service, considerate gestures, and presents.


 Avoid the sex and love empty trap.

So I asked Dan (name changed to preserve privacy) why he and his wife didn’t have sex more regularly. And since he’s been rejected so much, he stops trying to have his wife interested in him.

“I gave up,” he said. “The repeated rejection was hard to bear.”

If you ask his wife Lisa about the lack of love she feels she has gotten from him, I can tell you that he is fed up with her.

It was stated to her that the only time he kissed or hugged her was when she requested sex. “Whenever I’m doing the dishes or watching my favorite television program, he’ll walk up to behind me and expect me to be all-loving after he’s neglected me for the whole day. The fact is that by then I’m exhausted and fed up and have zero interest in having a sexual relationship.”




My practice encounters this scenario virtually every week since it is so frequent among the clients I see. As a result of not receiving the sex that they want, one spouse might not feel the need to show love. As a result, they don’t feel like having sex since the other craves love and connection and isn’t receiving it from them. A vicious cycle is created, with neither feeling content with nor connected to the other.



Ideally, both parties must offer the other what they desire before the relationship may be broken. When partners do this, their relationship undergoes a significant change.



 Concentrate on the things you have control over, such as your own happiness and your own health.

Although we would want to be able to influence someone’s behavior in a relationship, this is impossible in most situations. When you control your conduct, you will experience distance, resistance, and shutting off.

Focusing on being joyful, easygoing, and enjoyable to be around instead can increase the likelihood of flirtation and affection occurring.



When men or women come to me and admit that they are aware that they have not been loving towards their spouse, it is often because they are stressed, struggling with a loss of some kind, anxious about the relationship, or concerned about the future, among other reasons,

So, instead of pleading with or demanding that your spouse alter his or her behavior, encourage and try to inspire them by being kind, joyful, full of energy and light yourself.

While giving them the space that they need, you will become more appealing as a result of being more focused on your own pleasure and self-care.



What’s most important to remember is that worrying about your spouse’s lack of love will not help you salvage your marriage or convince him or her to be more loving.

Observe how the compassion begins to flow by focusing on what you can control.