Why do men push away their perfect girl
Men’s reasons for rejecting their ideal woman.
A little over four years ago, I met the most wonderful woman.
To say she was flawless is an understatement; rather, I mean that she was the ideal girl for me.
So many things about us simply clicked, it was impossible to keep our hands off one other.
Are you attracted to someone physically? Check
Do you like someone’s personality? Check
Values that everyone agrees on. Check
Is your life at a comparable stage? Check
Does the situation have enough contrasts and conflicts to keep things fascinating? Several times over, I double-checked my assumptions.
Following six months of dating, I began to wonder whether she could be the one for me. After all, we both wanted to settle down and have a family. She told me straight out that she was falling in love with me and that she could see me as a wonderful father and spouse in the future.
Honestly, I thought she was incredible and admired her much.
In all honesty, I wasn’t certain whether or not I was head over heels in love with anybody. Just knowing that what she was saying sounded very nice and that I should definitely give it a go convinced me to go ahead and try it.
These two were meant to be together, and I had a vision for what our future would be like. I had a feeling it was going to happen.
Omigosh, it was really happening! But there was something more lurking under the surface of my happiness…
A gloomy emotion, such as the feeling of wanting to weep but not being able to. Unspoken words are being choked by a suppressed, buried obstruction, which makes me feel like I’m playing the part of the lead in an amateurish theater production.
To marry this girl was a huge leap for me. What was I doing in the first place?!
When I realized what was happening, I started to freak out. I was a total and utter mess. And a week later, I called it quits on things.
While I would want to be able to tell you that I’m kidding, I’m not…
This left her in complete disbelief. No amount of weeping or rage could bring her back to life. I’d ruthlessly shattered her heart and left her trying to find any glimmer of hope in the midst of her despair.
As a result, we spoke with one other again, and I tried all I could to alter my opinion. However, I couldn’t bring myself to resume the relationship, and I wasn’t sure why.
Fortunately, this had occurred to me previously with a lady I wasn’t as passionate about, but it had hurt nevertheless. By now, I had become obsessed with it and was determined to discover what had prompted me to terminate the experiment.
My answer came after more than a year of soul-searching, study and breathwork/meditation.
Suddenly, my beautiful lady has vanished and is in the company of an unknown man. She wasn’t the ideal girl, and I now see that she wasn’t, but now I understand what she did – and didn’t do – that prompted me to go.
What I’ve discovered about the factors that lead a guy to commit suicide or flee has been shared with you before.
To begin, anybody who has ever had their heart crushed or been deceived by a guy should view this incredible movie right now. A basic, terrible reality about males is revealed in this article by globally recognized relationship expert Michael Fiore. This video may make you furious at first, but it has the potential to transform your life and relationship with men for the better, permanently. To see the video, please click here.
5 things I wish I’d been able to say to the right girl at the perfect time
1) I, like many other males, am terrified of being tied down.
Men are often considered to be more logical than women, according to popular belief.
If that’s the case, I can assure you that I did not abandon the ideal girl because of logic or practical considerations, as others have suggested.
I ended up leaving her because I was afraid of taking things to the next level and truly committing.
Despite the fact that she was ideal for me in every aspect and fulfilled all of my “requirements,” I ended up leaving her because I felt there was something lacking in our relationship at our core.
What is it about love, the degree of attraction, or a unique connection that makes you feel special? It took me a long time to figure out what the X factor was and why it was missing, but once I did, I was able to explain everything.
I knew from previous experience that commitment terrifies me, but I also knew that I was fully prepared to go all-in when I was very certain that it was the correct decision.
And there was something holding me back with the ideal girl.
2) She tried too hard to persuade me till I finally convinced myself otherwise.
For starters, the amount of pressure I was experiencing was very severe. It prompted me to reevaluate the whole basis of our relationship and to be really honest about my feelings.
And the reality was that I admired her much, but I did not really care for her.
Despite the fact that she seemed to be the ideal match for me and that we were on the same page in so many ways, I felt smothered by expectations.
Suddenly, all of the ways in which she was wonderful for me began to look a little…boring.
Because I didn’t appreciate her enough, I felt like a complete jerk for not recognizing how she listened to and understood me; how she never made me feel envious; and how she was so passionate with her intimacy and with her love for me.
What the heck was wrong with me?
Part of it had to do with the fact that I could see she was trying so hard to get me into it that I automatically started to back away.
3.What’s the deal with the hard sell?
I got the distinct impression that I was being fitted for a “husband suit” before I’d even had a chance to wipe my eyes and come to terms with the new reality. It made me feel uncomfortable.
All of my hesitations and reactions to the pressure I was feeling led me to the realization that the plain reality was: I wasn’t in love with her as much as I’d believed at first.
I wasn’t as over over heels in love with her as I’d imagined I was.
I had a strong affection for her. I was on the verge of confessing my feelings for her. But deep down in my heart, I knew I wasn’t.
It was clear to me that there was nothing seriously wrong with her since her attractiveness, devotion, and patience were all clearly apparent to me.
However, I could still sense in my bones that things weren’t quite “right” in the world.
There was something about the time I spent with her and the connection we had that didn’t completely catch my attention, even though she was beautiful and ideal for me.
And it was this that drove me to fear and flee, breaking her heart in the process of doing so.
4) Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t make my heart fall in love with her.
You can manipulate a heart into falling in love, but you cannot make it fall out of love.
I tried everything with her, and God knows I tried.
However, when it came time for the ultimate confrontation, I chose to go in the other way.
She didn’t place any kind of pressure on me at all. I placed a lot of pressure on myself by believing that we would make a great pair. I was wrong. However, reality began to fall well short of my expectations, and I began to feel sad and worried as a result.
The more I tried to force myself to feel what I thought I “should” be feeling, the more I felt myself retreating from the experience.
It was a depressing circumstance.
But, hey, at the very least, I learnt something.
5) She lacked the “X Factor” she so desperately needed…
One of the X Factors that made the ideal lady great for me was that I wasn’t searching for my perfect girl in the first place.
The person I couldn’t stop thinking about at night and for whom my heart was beating out of my chest was someone I was searching for.
Her pleasant demeanor towards me was just that: pleasant.
It didn’t thrill me to compose love poetry about her or to dream about her in the middle of the night.
When I looked back to a lady I’d been in love with when I was in my 20s, I understood what was missing: the X-Factor.
It has nothing to do with sex, attitude, or even being “hard to get…” Something that is considerably more difficult to describe, yet is much more essential.
And it was only later that I discovered it with the right person (not the “ideal girl”) that my whole life was transformed…
Here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter if you meet someone who seems to be correct on paper; they must also be correct when you meet them.
If the X-Factor isn’t present, even a lady who checks all the boxes and captures your attention will be out of luck.
In hindsight, I’m really relieved that I didn’t wind up with my ideal lady because I honestly think that it would have resulted in a divorce.
I’m really sorry if I caused her any distress, but it was an extremely valuable learning experience, to say the least.
Do you want to know what’s going on in men’s heads?
My buddy Michael Fiore recently conducted a survey in which he questioned over 20,000 males…
“What’s the one thing about guys that you really wish the lady in your life understood but couldn’t tell her?” says the interviewer.
The outcomes were delicious, heartbreaking, and perhaps deadly…
Guys came out of their shells…
In terms of how they FEEL about women…
In terms of what they WANT from women…
What it it about women that gets them enraged…
You’ll feel as if you’ve gained “superpowers” after seeing this movie, such as the ability to peer into any man’s head and cause him to open up to you like a book, allowing you to understand him better than anybody else on the planet.
It’s very, really, really amazing.
6.Accept the reality of the situation as it is.
One of the most common mistakes women make is wishing that men were different from themselves. However, a man cannot control the feelings of fear that he has while contemplating a long-term commitment any more than a woman can control her thoughts about commitment.
In fact, when he really believes he is being misunderstood for his sensitivity, it simply serves to exacerbate the stress, worry, and guilt he is already experiencing, increasing his likelihood of pressing the eject button sooner rather than later.
You will have more room to focus on what YOU CAN DO to make him sure – triggering his infatuation instinct – when you understand that this is just the way men are made and avoid the temptation to push him into it.
7.Do not try to “persuade” him in any way.
Most women become caught in the rut of trying to be a guy’s “dream lady,” showering him with all of the characteristics of a “good girlfriend,” such as being a great listener, being devoted, attentive, generous, and attractive, among other things.
They’ll make a list of all the reasons why they’re a great fit, or they’ll attempt to figure out what characteristics he looks for in a mate so that they may demonstrate those qualities when he’s around to show him.
The team is trying to deal with his “logical mind,” which is not in control in this particular situation, regardless of the outcome.
Women are prone to repeating this approach despite the fact that it nearly never works, leaving them disappointed and enraged when the guy ends up leaving her for someone who has almost none of the characteristics he claims to want.
8.Concentrate on arousing his infatuation instinct. –
Only through triggering his infatuation reaction will you be able to convince him to commit with his whole heart and be fully certain that a woman is the one for him.
The infatuation impulse in a man is triggered by extremely particular characteristics in a woman. Objects such as curiosity, limits, and unpredictability are examples of things that excite the senses and elicit a strong need to follow after them.
Although the majority of women attempt to demonstrate to a man their level of commitment to him in the hope that this will allow him to feel safe enough to open his heart, this usually only serves to increase the pressure he feels on his shoulders, as he is currently more concerned about losing his freedom than he is about losing her.
Watch this free video presentation to discover more about how to trigger a man’s infatuation impulse, as well as specific scripts that will accomplish this goal.
You’ll learn about the ’emotional tripwire,’ which is a psychological device that puts a guy into infatuation mode without his recognizing it.