When I Had My First Sex

When I Had My First Sex

When I Had My First Sex

When I Had My First Sex


My first sexual encounter occurred on my wedding night, when I was 29 years and 51 weeks old…but who’s counting? I really asked Luke if he would mind waiting a week before getting any action so that I could write a book titled “30-year-old virgin.” He agreed, and I wrote the book. He was not having any of it. To the contrary, he gently took my arm and led me into our vehicle after flinging a piece of our wedding cake onto a plate. He was all set to check into the motel. Ha! I was so relieved that I had waited all those years, but it had not been an easy road. Looking back, there were multiple instances when I might have been coerced into having sex, or I could have done it for the wrong reasons, among other things.




I was determined about not having sexual relations until I married when I was in my early twenties. That I remained a virgin was not due to the counsel given to me by my parents, my youth pastor, or the sermons spoken from the pulpit at church every Sunday. It was a contract I made with God when I was ten years old, and it still stands now. 



I wrote in my diary one day, pleading with God to hold off on returning to Earth until I was married and had sex (since I knew I wouldn’t be able to have sex in heaven). What in the world was I thinking when I was ten years old? Regardless, I told myself that I would treasure and offer my virginity as a gift to just one person – my spouse – and I kept my word. I had no idea that I would have to wait 19 years. Despite some taunting in high school, significant pressure from the media, and being immersed in the Hollywood lifestyle for more than a decade, it was difficult for me to follow through with my commitment. But by God’s grace, I made it to the altar in time.

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Although there were numerous near calls, the overall result was positive. My desire came close to being destroyed one night while wandering down the Atlantic Boardwalk in Newark, New Jersey. In order to model pageant outfits for the Miss America judges, a friend of mine jetted me off to the East Coast. The period in question coincided with a difficult breakup with someone whom I had considered “the one.” I had been fighting with God for many weeks about my dissatisfaction with men who would claim they would “wait,” but when they found I was serious about the “no sex” issue, they would abandon me by the side of the highway. 



After this split, I wasn’t interested in dating anybody else since I was content with my single fly-around-the-world lifestyle. On that night, while I was heading down the boardwalk, I promised God that I was going to locate a dance club, pick out the prettiest man in the crowd, and simply “do it” to get it over with as quickly as possible.




God must have heard me because a few seconds later, an elderly gentleman with a long white beard, dressed in brown burlap-like garments and shoes, emerged approximately 20 feet behind me and smiled at me. His voice could be heard over the commotion of the crowd, even though his face was hidden by his cloak. He began to yell at me that I had told him that I would not have sex until my wedding night, and he was right. It was his advice that I should respect God’s will and not surrender. I looked him in the eyes again and assured him that I would honor my agreement with God. “I promise, I’ll be patient,” I remarked to the group. 



I swear I’m not going to have any sex until the night of my wedding! In the midst of this packed street, I took two more steps forward in my bright high heels, and I had a little heart attack. Who knows how this elderly gentleman knew what I was going through and what I had just told God.

That’s exactly what happened when I rapidly spun around a third time: He was nowhere to be seen. When I woke up the next morning, I knew God had sent an angel to let me know he understood my feelings of anguish and frustration, as well as my fears and fury. The angel was there to urge me to stay on the right road and to believe that He had my best interests in mind. Then, four years later, Luke came into the picture, and I realized that God had a plan for me all along. This is a watershed event in my life that I will remember forever.




This is what you should do: The Rebecca St. James video “Wait for Me” serves as a wonderful reminder of why I wanted to put myself aside for a while before marriage. In addition to hundreds of youth gatherings, I’ve been playing this song for years. Let me know if you have any questions or comments.




At the appropriate time, God will provide the appropriate individual. If you put your faith in God and devote your time and energy to serving Him today, God will provide you with the opportunity to meet your best friend while doing so. What a unique and exciting experience! God forgives and forgets if you have previously engaged in sexual activity, even though this is not who you are as a person. A person’s identity is not defined by his or her history. It is possible for you to make better decisions beginning right now.

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First Time Sex: Tips & Tricks

After reaching a certain age, you may begin to consider having sexual relations for the first time. Along with this, you may be curious about the sensations you are having, how to deal with any tension that may be accompanying them, and what you should do to be safe.



What you should know about having sex for the very first time.

If you are considering having sex for the first time, there are probably a lot of thoughts racing through your head. Your body may be changing, and you may be concerned about whether or not it may hurt. Check out the following sections for answers to some of the questions you may have concerning your first sexual experience.



In the course of a sexual encounter, what occurs to your body?

After having sex for the first time, your body will not show any evidence of having done so. Only you or someone else will be able to inform others that you’ve had sex with someone.

It is possible that you may breathe heavily and sweat, and that your skin will get flushed when having sex with another person. The bodily essence of sex is responsible for these transformations. Because of the increased blood flow that occurs during sex, your vulva may become swollen as well. Similar to how your body recovers from exercise, your body will recover after sex.



The majority of women are born with a hymen, which is a membrane in the vagina that may stretch or rip during physical activity, first-time intercourse, and other activities. If your hymen becomes stretched or ruptures during your first sex encounter, it might result in some little bleeding. First-time intercourse does not always result in bleeding, and this is especially true for women. Unintentionally, many individuals have ruptured their hymen before they have ever had intercourse with another person. It is recommended that you lie down on a dark-colored towel or cloth to avoid stains if you are concerned about bleeding.



For the first time ever, I experienced blood while having sex

Is it going to be painful?

The fear of hurting oneself while having sex for the first time accounts for a significant portion of the anxiety around this experience. The likelihood of experiencing discomfort is low if you relax, make yourself comfortable, and pay close attention to your body. Due to the fact that you are unfamiliar with this situation, you may feel some discomfort.

Friction is more than likely to blame for any discomfort you may be experiencing. When there is insufficient vaginal lubrication to facilitate the passage of anything into your vagina, friction during penetrative intercourse develops. Engaging in a lot of foreplay might help to lubricate the vaginal area.



It is possible to make sexual contact more pleasant and delightful by using lubrication.



What are the chances that I’ll have an orgasm?

The first time you and your partner learn how to have sexual relations, you may assume that the experience would be spectacular, just like it is frequently described in movies. You can expect that your first time will not be nearly as smooth or well coordinated as your second or third attempts.

It is common for individuals to feel awkward and uncomfortable when they are experiencing something new. You can also be feeling worried about the whole thing. It might be tough to attain an orgasm in these kind of situations. Everything seems to be normal at this point, right? Sex without orgasm may really be very nice, and it may even be a fantastic way for you and your spouse to deepen your relationship.



Having intercourse for the first time, may I get pregnant?

When it comes to becoming pregnant for the first time, there’s a common misconception in certain cultures. Obviously, this is not correct. It is possible to get pregnant even if your menstruation has already begun if you make sexual contact with someone.

In order to avoid becoming pregnant, you should take a birth control technique anytime you have sexual contact with someone else.

First-time intercourse with contraception is recommended.

Reduce your anxiousness while having your first sex.

Anxiety might arise while experiencing sexual activity for the first time. All of this is very normal and commonplace. When it comes to dealing with anxiety, there are several options.

Partner who is suitable
According to some research, having sex with someone you trust and with whom you have a long-term relationship increases your chances of experiencing both psychological and physical fulfillment. You may feel safer and more in control of the situation if you are with someone you can rely on.




Warm and inviting surroundings

Planning sex in an environment that is comfortable for you is important if you want to have sex but are nervous about it. Concentrating on what’s going on and enjoying what’s going on may be difficult in a new or unpleasant environment.


In most cases, people are nervous about their first sex experience. Foreplay, on the other hand, may be beneficial in alleviating your anxiety. During foreplay, there will be a lot of kissing and caressing, which will help you get more comfortable with your own body as well as your partner’s body.



Go at a leisurely pace

Attempting to hasten sex in order to move on to the next phase might cause a great deal of worry. When you’re not doing anything, it’s natural to find yourself wondering about what you should be doing and what to do next. Consider taking a minute to center yourself and concentrate on the present moment, allowing things to unfold naturally as they should.

Orgasm is something that some individuals want right away. Making sex a more calm and delightful experience by taking your time and enjoying the ride might help make it more relaxing and enjoyable.

Later on, try again

Being less-than-perfect on your first try is really frequent. Nonetheless, this does not rule out the possibility of sexual harassment in the future. There are a variety of factors that might lead to an encounter that does not meet your expectations.

You may always try again later when you are more comfortable with your abilities and knowledge. You are, however, under no obligation to return for a second round of golf. Having sex is best done when you are certain that you want it, not when your partner insists on it being done.



Precautions must be taken before having your first sexual encounter.

The first step in deciding whether or not to have sex is being informed of the many safeguards available to keep oneself safe from hazardous sex. Transmission of diseases during unprotected intercourse is possible. Unwanted pregnancy may potentially result as a result of this drug.

Preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
If you don’t utilize protection while having sex, you run a substantially greater chance of developing an illness. There are many different types of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).




Hepatitis B and C are contagious diseases that affect the liver.
The herpes simplex virus in the genital area.

Syphilis Gonorrhea

While some of these disorders are treatable with antibiotic medicine, others are incurable and may have major consequences for one’s overall health. Although there is currently no cure for HIV, there are drugs that may suppress the virus nearly entirely, according to the CDC. If HIV is left untreated, it may progress to AIDS, which has no known treatment or cure. Condoms should be used whenever you have sexual contact to minimize the chance of developing a sexually transmitted infection (STI).




It is recommended that you utilize contraceptive techniques to limit the risk of becoming pregnant, unless you are intending to have a child soon.

It is possible to use barrier measures such as condoms, diaphragms, or caps to protect yourself against infection. Sperm are prevented from reaching the egg by using these techniques. Various other techniques, like as the birth control pill, work by altering your hormones to prevent the release of an egg. However, it is crucial to note that no form of protection is 100 percent effective against both pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).



Having trouble figuring out how to have sex for the first time is a very natural feeling. The presence of a supportive spouse in a comfortable environment and the ability to take things slowly helps alleviate anxiety symptoms. Don’t forget to use safe sex techniques to prevent unexpected pregnancies and sexually transmitted illnesses.

The 10 Best First Sex Stories

The fact that we asked for the finest anecdotes about the first time you had sex let us know that we were in for some strange responses. And there definitely were such instances.

There were a number of foreign affairs taking place. When it came to relationships, some individuals were aware that theirs were doomed because “he is a spooner and doesn’t believe in air conditioning, which is a terrible combination when you live in the tropics.” In our research, we discovered that there are “sexual vampires” out there. People engage in sexual activity in the woods before walking across cow meadows. There are lots of people who have been caught in the act. Condoms are often kept in place for much too long. A Beer Lady, to be precise. Vibrators in the color blue. The orgasmic state experienced by men “when staring dead into Tom Hanks’ eyes.” At a Christian camp, people were having sex in their closets. Dead Heads, to be precise.





What happened was as follows: Background – I’m a geek who used to be a bit of a chubster in high school, so I didn’t go out with anybody. After graduation, I stopped talking to everyone save my closest buddy from school, obtained a job with the USDA after completing a successful apprenticeship, and enrolled in community college to complete my education. When I didn’t have enough social connection, I had a nervous breakdown. Over the course of a year, I dropped out of college, consumed a fair lot of drugs (mainly cannabis), shed 60 pounds, became a vegetarian, and left the scientific field to start working at the local cooperative. At our weekly Dungeons & Dragons game, I met the man who would become my first boyfriend.




For the last two weeks, we’d been dating, but there were some uncomfortable fumblings when he couldn’t keep his grip on the condom and would turn over in a pout, and I was becoming fed up with it all. He was a virgin as well, but he wasn’t the only one who was frustrated in the bed, and I tried to be sympathetic, but he wouldn’t have any of it. I’d reached the end of my rope and had contacted a buddy to come hang out and bitch with me. My mother and I were still living together, but she had married and moved in with him and his two children, so I would regularly see them. When I arrived, I was met with a huge bottle of Boone’s Farm and a bong hit that had been reserved just for me. I let it all hang out, got torn, and then we began to speak about how to solve my situation. 




It had previously been made obvious by her (and her husband) that he was available if I was interested, and I had exchanged a few kisses and fumbles with him, but nothing more. (To put it mildly, our friendship was strange to say the least). This point, I was quite upset, and the booze was altering my perspective on the situation from “Isn’t this strange?” to “Why the fuck not?”

When her husband returned home from work, he discovered a scheme in progress and two tipsy gals with sly smiles. We decided to take the party to his room since he was up for it. Even after being bolstered with liquid courage, I was still apprehensive, but I truly, really wanted to fuck someone. While the clothing were being taken off, there was some kissing between the three of us. I recall sitting on his chest and kissing her as she rode him for a little time (I didn’t want to go first since I’m a dork), and then riding him again. When he entered me for the first time, I was lying on my stomach.




 He was a huge man, but that didn’t bother me since I’d been masturbating for years before meeting him. To be quite honest, I was a little underwhelmed at first. Although it did get better, we went through a number of different positions until I ended myself on top of him again. I didn’t make it, but I came dangerously close to it.




The next day, I ended my relationship with my partner. That night, I didn’t tell him anything about what had occurred. I never slept with my buddy or her husband again, and we gradually became estranged from one another. It was about a year before I had another sexual encounter. My second boyfriend was fantastic, and we fucked like a couple of geeky rabbits together. I wouldn’t alter a thing, with the exception of maybe getting rid of the first lover sooner. He was nothing more than a tool.

Here’s how it went down: She started working for the firm about a year after I did, and since my job required me to travel often, I would stop and talk with her anytime I passed by. I mean, she was fucking amazing. She had gigantic tits, and she was also really intelligent and hilarious. Being a huge, spectacled geek with severe self-confidence issues at the time, I instantly thought to myself, “She’s too good for me,” and masturbated violently to her picture from a distance for months before making any physical advances toward her. I kept her company as she dealt with the phones throughout lengthy periods of time when my work provided me with extensive breaks.




Conversations quickly lead us to learn that we had similar professional goals (we both wanted to be policemen), and just as I was about to suggest “maybe we might train together some time?” she took me to the punch and exclaimed (OH SO CASUALLY) “You should come jogging with me some time!” Are there any chances to see this lady in spandex? Definitely, without a second thought.

The race was set for Friday night at the nearby university campus, which is close to her home. She was excited to participate. The navigation system failed me. I became disoriented. I’m completely and utterly befuddled! The meeting was scheduled at 9 p.m. (we both got off work late), but I didn’t there until closer to 10:30 p.m… And there we went, racing around the track at the university.





 She was kind about it, and we were off and running. Until this moment, I was completely oblivious to the fact that her eyes were almost drilling a hole into the crotch of my running briefs. It wasn’t until she came pretty near to me that I realized what was going on. She inquired as to whether I’d had any girlfriends (I hadn’t), if anybody had kissed me (I hadn’t), and if I had a crush on anyone at the workplace (it was her, but I wasn’t willing to say it out loud). A more accurate description would be that I was an oblivious sap.




After the run, she brought me back to her place, which was really just a basement room she was renting, and fed me pie (pumpkin, because it was Thanksgiving weekend), and basically, (with the benefit of hindsight), chatted me up for two hours straight, getting closer and closer to me as the minutes passed (she had started out on the opposite couch, but then by the time things came to a head, she was sitting at my feet with her head in my lap). When I finally comprehended what she was seeking, I was completely at a loss for what to do. To say that I was completely befuddled would be an understatement. When she asked me to leave the room, I did so uncomfortably, trying not to burn holes in her cleavage while making vague “I’m not sure about this…” explanations.




At least I was in the hands of someone determined to complete her task, who was not going to allow the vague discomfort of a 20-year-old horny virgin stand in the way of her success. I subsequently discovered that she and the other receptionists had been making wild guesses about the size of my penis for many months, which led to this task being assigned to them.




My face was drawn to hers and she kissed me (FIRST KISS WOOOO), and all of her clothing appeared to come off at the same time (I began to wonder if a film crew was lurking somewhere in the room since this kind of thing only occurs in movies, right?) I was able to touch her all over her bed, which was a godsend since I couldn’t stop touching her. As a result, I learned that I had a natural ability to touch others. (Or was it all of the lesbian porn I was watching? Lesbian porn is an excellent instructor, thus everyone should watch it. 




Whatever the case, she was the one who started everything, from removing my clothing to getting on top of me. Nothing meaningful could be accomplished because I was too absorbed in a mood of ecstatic disbelief. I was certain I was having a nightmare. My brother called in the middle of the show, and I took up the phone, despite my inexperience. It’s hard not to notice this hot and lovely female.

What happened was this: I was a young poet who fell in love with and dated a young man for more than a year only because he was the lead singer of a band and (more importantly) because he wrote the lyrics to all of the songs they were performing. It didn’t take long for his mother, a local public high school English teacher who had a burning desire to be a writer and with whom I had hoped to form such a sweet bond that we would go see Charles Dickens’ plays together at Christmas, both of us wrapped up in scarves she had knitted, or else we would take bus trips into New York City just to smell the public libraries, to become enraged with me. 



Because Pennsylvania was a more hated state for her, she took a week-long vacation in the Florida Keys with her overweight Match.com police officer (whom she affectionately referred to as “Bubba,”) and left him with a box of conch shell, spiral-shaped condoms, which are exactly as strange as you might expect, “because I know what you’re going to do in my empty house.”



(To this day, I have never been able to locate these condoms in a store, which indicates that his mother must have purchased them specifically from an internet porn shop back in 2004, which is a lot of fun to think about!)

Chris and I were, as you might expect, completely disgusted and freaked out, but we were also seventeen at the time, so after stripping down to our underwear, we started having sex the only way we knew how: the way they do it in porn, with my back pressed against a wall, my legs wrapped around his waist, and Chris thrusting anxiously into me with unparalleled awkwardness and noise. Chris and I were seventeen at the time, so we were both seventeen at the time. At first, it was only a small amount of blood—”Keep going,” he said, “don’t worry!”—but then the blood came out in torrents. Looking back, it wasn’t much more blood than any other girl would have lost, but at seventeen, on a shag carpet in the upstairs hallway of a total b*tch, we were both scared to death. The two of us stopped having sex in order to attempt to clean the carpet, but the wet paper towel only smeared the carpet and made the situation worse. We then decided to return to our previous position, except Chris’ hands were bloody and wet from all of the failed cleaning attempts, and we smeared the mess all over the wall and floor.




Even though I showed up, which is perhaps the most surprising aspect of this story, my friends and I spent the rest of the week repainting the hallway and scrubbing the carpet with every kind of “sit and wait” foaming cleanser available at our small-town hardware store, and every time I came over, we’d return to the hallway to neurotically examine the spot from different angles and in different light.

We didn’t date for very long after that—it sort of put the kibosh on sexiness—and his mother has since moved away, but I can’t help but think about that corridor everytime I go back to my parents’ place.

It is still unclear what happened to the unusual conch shell condom.

I managed to sneek out of my parents’ home a week before my fifteenth birthday. 1988. walked to the party, which was in the surfer-heavy area of Lake Forest (yes, that’s right, the OC!) My outfit consisted of a thin peach blouse with a black bra beneath and a short black 80s skirt with three ruffles that were tied down the side. She was a blonde. Because of the Sun-In, I had an extremely blonde complexion. Was a tan color. It was very fucking adorable, to be honest. I was being extremely brave because I hung out with punks, losers, dorks, and retards, but I really wanted to lose my virginity to a boy solely based on his appearance, because I couldn’t find one who was worth my time, and I was fucking horny living among all those pliable sun-bleached-brained boys. I was fucking horny living among all those pliable sun-bleached-brained boys




I went from surfer boy party to surfer boy party seeking for a lad to fuck. It’s possible that someone who craved sex insanely strongly might burst upon touch. It was obvious to the girls that I had come alone, that I didn’t like any of them, that this was not my scene, and that I was invading their guy cliques. I strolled about with my beer in a keg cup, staring boldly at every single one of them; I had no regard for any of them, and I walked as if I were in a force field, my eyes wandering like the Terminator’s.



There were four males who were coveted by all of the girls. She and her friends were the bright lights of El Toro High School. They were referred to as the Grommets, after the fish that spent their days playing in the water and their nights fucking on the beach. They were just perfect. Their brows were touched by the sun, which flared with their self-assurance. Andy was the name I wished for more than any of the others. It astounds me that I could have just forgotten his last name over the previous year or two, but I did. 



Maybe I’ll remember what you said. Something that begins with the letter S. I lusted for him with all of my heart, yet he had no idea who I was. I didn’t care about getting to know him; all I cared about was fucking him. As a result, I avoided approaching him or conversing with him at school. I didn’t do anything except stroll by and desire. Mark Gotro was his closest friend and confidante. Mark was not only gorgeous, but he was also a grommet. My attention was drawn to them as I poured more beer into my cup and listened in on their conversation. Andy was emphasizing that his objective for the evening was to earn a lot of Really Big Tits (really big tips). His only want, his only concern was to be with her. He was a year older than me and had been fucking for what seemed like an eternity to me. This was particularly devastating for me since I was a blossoming B-cup at the time.




It also helped to decrease my inhibitions about approaching them, knowing that I had little chance of succeeding. So I introduced myself to them and took a few steps back to observe these fifteen and sixteen-year-old princes. We had a nice conversation, and Paul, who was the least attractive of the four, but was still fairly fuckable, appeared to be quite interested. I recall adding that I’d been in such a rush to get out of my home unobserved that I hadn’t even bothered to put on underpants! My hand rests on the cherry-shaped lips I’m clutching.




Then something extraordinary happened. Kevin Gotro, the uber-king of the surfers of Laguna Beach and Mark’s elder brother, made an appearance, complete with his eighteen gorgeous years. Then he ruffled Mark’s hair, moaning that there was nothing else to do that night but his younger brother’s celebration. Despite having skin so tanned that it left freckles on his cheeks, where his cheekbones shone brightly, he towered over us in all his six-foot-tall glory, his broad shoulders strong and his golden eyes dancing as if he were an old wise man and we were all just a bunch of foolish fools drinking kool-aid. I didn’t say anything to him when I saw him. I didn’t say anything, just gazed at him. I inquired as to which room belonged to his sibling. Just as I had predicted, Mark smiled and yelled out my question with a booming voice. Kevin looked at me with a smile. I didn’t say anything. I simply gazed. “Do you want to see?” he inquired.




We took the elevator up to the second floor. Up until that time, I had dreamed of doing anything like this for half of my life. I was planning to dress up like a tiger. I would come up with a slew of smart and funny one-liners. Instead, an episode of The Wonder Years, which had aired the night before, flashed across my head. He and Winnie were standing on a hill, and they were finally, fucking finally, going to tell each other that they loved one other. He traced circles with his foot as they stood on the crest of the hill. It represented timidity as well as profound sentiments of devotion that could not be expressed verbally. While in the bedroom, my foot kept catching on the thin awful carpeting, and I tried to act like the nice naive girl with the older guy, but my foot kept snagging on the carpet, and I must have looked extremely silly. 




He looked at me with a smile on his face for a moment. Then he climbed up to his bed, which was a bunk bed, to rest. He didn’t utilize the bottom since it had been removed to make more room. The lights were turned off. We kissed each other up in the upper right-hand corner of his chamber. It was the very first time I’d ever kissed someone in the French manner. In other ways, it seemed like I was swimming underground in a seething cave. I had completely forgotten about sex and was just interested in kissing him. I couldn’t bring myself to stop kissing. At that point in my life, I was definitely masturbating two or three times a day at the very least. On certain days, I simply let myself have it for the rest of the day. Being a latchkey child and everything it entails. My intentions were purely sexual at first, but I soon found myself diving into his lips and not wanting to come out. As the light streamed in through the window, I would open my eyes for a split second to get a sight of him, fearing he would come to a halt if he noticed my gaze. The door remained closed, and I continued to steal looks at him, amazed that I was kissing such a lovely guy.




Then Andy walked through the door. With a female companion. Despite the fact that I didn’t glance down, I knew he’d discovered another woman who had large breasts. Kevin didn’t say anything, he simply continued kissing me, and I wasn’t going to stand in the way of his affection. During the time we were listening to Andy acquire her breasts, we moved our tongues and touched each others body. She was protesting, foolishly, and attempting to make the matter more complicated than it already was. And it’s not like she’s doing it in the middle of a kegger in a room full of other people. He was being as insensitive as a sixteen-year-old charming shit can be when it comes to other people’s feelings. She was as self-assured as any fifteen-year-old could be: “Does he really only want me for my tits?” she wondered aloud. Yes, he does, my darling. And everything is Ohhhkayyy.





After a while, she gave in, and we could hear him groping her to his heart’s delight in the quiet. The fact that our tongues were still rolling like the waves he surfed caused Kevin to grow enormously, and by then we were completely nude. More wet than I’d ever been in my life, to the point that I couldn’t think straight. My engorged lips lingered wide mouthed at the sight of his bulk looming over me in the dim light of the streetlamp. It was paradise that appeared in that brightness, above me, and was going to swallow me up completely. When the lady below me said, “Andy,” Kevin looked down for a split second, which meant he had to whip his hair back over his face to clear his eyes, which was delightfully satisfying music to his ears. My legs were too close together, and he fumbled as he attempted to get in before pushing me.




It was the most excruciating sensation I’d ever experienced. Despite the fact that I believed I’d shattered bones and would be unable to walk again, I felt the heat of the body’s responses to pain surge up over my pelvis, and I tried not to make a sound as Andy sat below me. I attempted to whisper: “Please, no, it hurts too much, take it out.”




Andy’s voice shot up as he pushed himself out of his molesting position “Yes, indeed! Kevin!! Dang!”

Kevin was determined not to be deterred. He attempted to calm me by brushing my hair back from my forehead and said that all he needed to do was be kind and slow and everything would be fine. Even as he attempted to bring him out carefully, I felt like I was being ripped apart from inside. I let him to push in once more and it didn’t feel any better, which seemed to me to be the cruelest joke of the gods to be perpetrated on me of all the well-executed ridicules I’d endured. I begged him to go, and he became invisible to me as a result of my desperation. “Well, can you, at the very least, suck it?” he whimpered as he sat back in his chair.





I’d never done anything like that before, and the results were really hilarious. Given that the only words I’d ever heard were “suck it” and “blow job,” I was under the impression that you just sucked it like you would a lollipop. Neither up nor down, simply place your lips over it and suck, come up for air, which was evidently required, and then – blow? Then I squeezed it harder and tighter till I had to release it, then blew on the tip of the syringe like a vacuum cleaner. We all fell asleep after he allowed me to continue in this manner for quite some time, which must have perplexed him to no end. He eventually pushed me off the couch and said “nevermind.”




I woke up when I heard him waking up in the morning and pretended to be asleep for a bit. He got up slowly enough at first, but then, after a little pause, he leapt out of bed, causing a disturbance in his bathroom, and then I heard his renowned Orange VW bus pull away from his own home, which I took to be his famous Orange VW bus. It hurt, but it was worth it.

I sat up, which was not surprising considering the events of the previous evening. There was blood all over the place, literally as if I had been slaughtered, on the sheets, my legs, the blanket, and everything else. It was similar to Carrie. I couldn’t comprehend how such a large amount of blood could have come from me. Later on, I would discover that it wasn’t only Kevin who had gotten me so soaked; I had in fact begun my period at the same time as Kevin that night. I stumbled to the toilet, horrified to see that I had been oozing blood the whole time I was there, and attempted to clean myself as best I could with my bare hands.




I crept back into the house via the doggy door since I couldn’t shower at that hour without waking up Mom, so I slept for a few more hours in my soiled clothes. After my shower on Sunday morning, I headed to my mother’s house to get Tampax for the day.

“Oh! My small daughter has grown into a young lady!” She burst into tears.