What To Say When A Loved One Dies
Knowing how to help someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one after they have lost a loved one may be difficult, especially when they are experiencing their own emotions of bereavement. Searching for the correct words may be a source of stress and anxiety, and even if you have the best of intentions, there is always the risk that you will say the wrong thing lurking around the corner.
General guidelines for tackling these circumstances include being thoughtful and sympathetic while avoiding crossing any lines; nevertheless, the information in this article will provide some more specific suggestions for what to say and the logic behind them, as well as some things not to say.
You Should Tell Them Some Kind Words
Some excellent suggestions for a grieving individual may be found in the section below, so they know you are thinking about them. Despite the fact that they acknowledge the loss and the effect that it has on the individual, these concepts make no effort to correct or alter anything; instead, they just listen to the person’s emotions and make themselves accessible to them if they desire to talk more.
Make a heartfelt expression of sympathy
Giving someone you know who has lost a loved one and is mourning the simple message, “I am profoundly sorry for your loss,” is one of the simplest and most effective ways to express your support because it lets them know that you are aware of the circumstance and their sentiments.
It is enough for many individuals to just know that others are thinking about them and acting in their best interests; they do not need anything more. While they may not feel like talking much right now, they may want someone to speak to in the future, and this is where the following part may be another fantastic approach to demonstrate compassion and that you are concerned about their well-being.
Consult with the individual to see if there is anything you can do to assist them.
Attempting to insert oneself into the circumstances of a grieving person is a common error. Many individuals are still processing their sentiments and emotions at the beginning of the process, and they may not have much to say at the time. This is perfectly normal and should not be criticized. Acknowledge this, and instead extend a helping hand and let them know that you are always there to them if they need assistance.
Always make it clear to them that they should not hesitate to contact you through phone, text, email, social media, or any other means that they like to connect. Despite the fact that they may not want your assistance right now, you never know when they may require it in the future. By informing them that you are accessible to them, you may make a difference and aid them in coping.
Give an explanation of what their cherished one meant to others.
No matter how little you knew about the departed individual for whom your friend, family member, or significant other is mourning, it is a kind gesture to note that they had a positive influence on the individuals in their immediate surroundings.
Someone who was a nice mother, father, brother, sister, friend, or anything else will be remembered fondly for their relationships with others around them, and their amazing traits as a person will be missed by those around them. Please don’t be startled if this causes them to weep or get depressed; in the long term, telling them that the person they are comforting was loved and will be missed will be very beneficial to the person you are attempting to console.
Send them Your Recollections
If you happen to have known the person who has gone away, another considerate approach that is similar to the previous part is to relate some of the happy memories that you and the deceased have had throughout the course of your relationship.
For example, maybe the loved one was a fantastic chef who was always a hit at family gatherings, or perhaps he or she had an immaculate sense of humor that made everyone’s faces light up when he or she was there. Even though the person has passed away and it is difficult to deal at this time, memories such as this will last forever, and perhaps, your friend or family member will be able to recollect them and enjoy the wonderful times that were had while they were around.
Create a Sympathy Greeting Card
However, although the options above are straightforward and effective methods to provide support to someone who has suffered the death of a loved one, it may be difficult for many people to talk face-to-face about it because they are at a loss for words or because they are unable to approach them directly. In these instances, a sympathy card may also be an appropriate choice.
With a sympathy card, you may contemplate and write a lengthier and more meaningful statement than you might with a vocal greeting. You may mail it to their address or give it personally during a viewing, memorial, or burial after you’ve typed out your sentiments.
Things You Shouldn’t Say To Them
What’s maybe more essential than figuring out what to say to a loved one is understanding what not to say to them, which usually include attempting to justify why the death occurred, but can also include attempting to resolve the situation or alleviate their suffering. You’ll find some instances of things not to say to a grieving person below.
“He or she is now in a better place today.”
While this expression may have good intentions, particularly if the person’s loved one was suffering and in agony, it merely serves to reinforce the concept that they are gone and will never return, and it does nothing to help them except to let them know that their loved one is no longer suffering.
“He or she had a long and fulfilling life.”
While it may seem innocent, it isn’t entirely beneficial, similar to the prior statement. However, remarks like “some individuals never reach that age and die early” have the potential to exacerbate the problem. A person’s life isn’t a competition, and you should never compare them to others. Doing so might come off as callous.
“It was time for him or her to go”
Even if a person is terminally sick, alerting a family member that their loved one’s death is imminent might be considered impolite. This is particularly true if religion is brought up, and both your friend or family member and the dead were non-religious. As a result, it’s advisable to avoid stating things like “there was a cause for it” or “God said it’s time to be with him.” Even if you share the same religious values, it’s best to be safe than sorry for the reasons stated above.
“You may always try for a second child.”
If a woman loses a kid in any manner, whether it’s due to a miscarriage, sickness, or an accident, it’s one of the most heartbreaking scenarios. The physical and emotional energy required to care for a newborn is something that not everyone can comprehend or connect to, yet it is enormously important and agonizing for the mother. Human beings are not disposable, and her kid was something she and her loved ones were looking forward to rearing. Allow her to mourn her loss before considering her other possibilities.
“It was bound to happen to him or her.”
Saying that a loved one was responsible for their own death is one of the most callous and unreassuring things you can say to someone who is grieving. It’s impolite to bring out their harmful lifestyle choices, such as eating choices, smoking, drinking alcohol, and taking other drugs, and it doesn’t give any positive.
“How come you haven’t gotten over it yet?”
People deal with death on their own terms, and there is no prescribed period of time in which they must recover from the loss of a loved one. Some individuals never entirely heal, depending on how close they were to the friend, family member, or spouse, but they can get better. As a result, even if years have gone, never bring up why they aren’t over someone; their experience and development are their own obstacles to overcome.
Finally, although these remarks may seem harmless and good-natured, when a loved one passes away, it is a moment to allow oneself to be vulnerable. If they feel compelled to remain strong, particularly in order to set an example for others, they may never really learn to deal with these sentiments and emotions since they are bottled up in an effort to seem strong and in control. Allow them to feel weak for the time being, and they will be able to rebuild themselves over time. Simply let them know that you are there to help them if they need assistance.
Nobody should have to go through grief alone, and with your assistance, you can make it easier for your friends or family members to deal during this terrible time. Professional assistance is also available and may make a significant impact.
There are numerous certified counselors and therapists that specialize in supporting individuals suffering with grief, locating one who is sympathetic and attentive to a person’s needs is simpler than ever.
Online counseling is easy, inexpensive, and stress-free. All you need is a computer, mobile device, or tablet that can connect to the internet.
It might be difficult to propose to a grieving individual that they seek therapy, but professional treatment is meant to accomplish exactly that. Counselors and therapists have the knowledge, skills, and skill set that others lack when it comes to helping individuals deal with the loss of a loved one, and may therefore make the process more smooth for those who are suffering.