Using a Sense of Humor to Deal with Conflict

Using a Sense of Humor to Deal with Conflict

Using a Sense of Humor to Deal with Conflict

The importance of humor and laughter in interpersonal interactions

We’ve all heard the expression “laughing is the greatest medicine,” and it really is true. Laughter reduces stress, improves mood, and increases your ability to cope with difficult situations. However, it is also beneficial to your interpersonal connections.


If you are in a new relationship, humor may be a powerful weapon for not only enticing the other person, but also for overcoming any discomfort that may occur throughout the process of getting to know one another. When it comes to long-term partnerships, humor may help to keep things interesting, new, and alive. It may also assist you in overcoming disputes, misunderstandings, and the little irritations that can accumulate over time and cause even the strongest of relationships to crumble.


Intimacy and connection are created between two people when they are able to share the joy of humor together—qualities that are essential to the development of strong and successful partnerships. Create a good connection between yourself and your partner by sharing laughter with one another. 


It serves as a powerful barrier against stress, disputes, disappointments, and rough patches in a relationship, as well as for the sake of the partnership itself. And laughing is really contagious—just hearing someone else laugh sets the tone for you to grin and participate in the celebration.


“Laughter is the Best Medicine,” as they say.

A sense of humor may be beneficial in every situation, whether it is a love connection, friendships, family or coworkers you want to enhance. Learn how to use humor to smooth over disagreements, reduce everyone’s stress level, and communicate in a manner that builds and deepens your relationships by following the advice in this article.


The advantages of utilizing humor in your interpersonal interactions
Using humour may be beneficial in the following situations:

Develop a better connection with other individuals. Your health and happiness are heavily influenced by the quality of your connections, and laughing is a powerful tool for bringing people together.


Disagreements are smoothed out. Using mild humor to handle even the most sensitive topics, such as sex or in-laws, may be very effective.

There is a subtle tension in the air. A well-timed joke may assist to defuse a stressful situation and facilitate the resolution of disputes.

Overcome any difficulties or setbacks. The ability to maintain a sense of humour is essential for coping. It facilitates the ability to cope with difficulties, to endure disappointment, and to bounce back from adversity and loss.

Put things in their proper context. When seen from a fun and amusing perspective, most problems do not seem to be as dire as they appear at first glance. It is possible to use humor to help you reframe issues that might otherwise seem overwhelming and perhaps damaging to a relationship.

Make an effort to be more imaginative. Humor and playfulness may help you to relax, re-energize your thoughts, and be more creative.


Using humor to manage and diffuse tension is an effective strategy.

Relationships are certain to experience conflict at some point. It may manifest itself in the form of significant conflict between the two of you, or it could be as simple as minor irritations that have accumulated over time. In any case, how you deal with disagreements may frequently make or break the success of your relationship.


When disagreement and conflict put a kink in your relationship, humor and playfulness may assist to relieve tension and reestablish a feeling of connection between the two of you. Using a little lighter humor in a polite manner may rapidly transform disagreement and tension into a chance for shared enjoyment and closeness. It enables you to communicate effectively without raising the other person’s defenses or causing them to feel offended or embarrassed. As an illustration:


Alex is retired, but he still climbs up to the roof to clear the gutters on a regular schedule. His wife, Angie, has informed him on more than one occasion that she is afraid of him when he uses the ladder. Then she goes up to him and says, “You know, it’s men like you that make wives become nags,” instead of her normal complaints. Alex chuckles and gently walks down the ladder to the ground.


Despite the fact that Lori’s husband is an intelligent individual, after a few drinks at dinner, he regularly underestimates the amount he should tip for the meal. This embarrasses Lori, makes her husband defensive, and often results in a tense finish to a nice evening for the couple.


 The next time they’re out to dinner and her husband gets up to pay the bill, Lori gives him a calculator and says, “There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can’t,” in a fun manner. Rather of leaving the restaurant fighting, her husband and she depart laughing and joking with one another.


While humor is not a magic bullet for resolving disputes, it may be a valuable aid in navigating through the rough patches that every relationship experiences from time to time, according to research. Humor, when it is devoid of harmful sarcasm or mockery, may assist you to resolve conflict by doing the following:


Stop the power struggle in its tracks, immediately releasing tension and enabling you to reconnect with yourself and recover your perspective.

Increase your level of spontaneity. You can break away from inflexible patterns of thinking and acting by engaging in shared laughing and play. This will enable you to view the issue in a fresh light and come up with a creative solution.


Reduce your defensiveness. In fun environments, we see things differently and are more tolerant of learning things about ourselves that might normally be unpleasant or even painful to learn about ourselves.

Allow yourself to be free of inhibitions. As a result, laughter opens us up, enabling us to communicate what we really feel and allowing our deep, true feelings to bubble up to the surface.



Managing conflict with comedy  1: Make sure you and your partner are both laughing at the same joke.

Humor, like any other tool, may be utilized in both bad and good ways, depending on the situation. Exercising judgment by making snarky, nasty comments and then berating the other person for not having the ability to take a joke will only exacerbate the situation and eventually harm the relationship.


Humor can only be effective in resolving conflict when all sides are on board with the joke. It is important to be considerate of the other person’s feelings. Do not say or do anything if you know your spouse or coworker or a member of your family or acquaintance is not going to enjoy the joke. This is true even if the joke is “all in good humor.” Joking that is one-sided rather than reciprocal weakens trust and goodwill, which may have a negative impact on the relationship.


Consider the following illustration:

Even when she climbs into bed, Michelle’s feet are constantly chilly, but she has come up with what she believes to be a humorous remedy. Place her cold feet on her husband Kevin’s warm body, and she will gradually warm them up. Kevin despises this game and has often complained to Michelle about how he does not like being used as a foot warmer, but she just laughs at his outbursts of frustration. Kevin has recently started to sleeping at the far end of the bed, a solution that has caused them to feel more separated as a pair.


Everyone involved should have a good time and enjoy themselves while they are joking about. If other people don’t find your joking or teasing amusing, stop doing it right away. Take a minute to evaluate your motivations, as well as the other person’s state of mind and sense of humor, before you start messing about.


Consider the following questions for yourself:
Do you have a sense of tranquility, clarity of mind, and connection to the other person?
Does your genuine desire to convey good emotions come through, or are you making a joke, showing anger, or laughing at the expense of the other person?
Are you certain that your joke will be understood and enjoyed by the audience?
Are you conscious of the emotional tone that you are conveying via your nonverbal communication? Are you sending out good, warm messages, or are you sending out negative or aggressive ones?


What kind of nonverbal cues do you pay attention to while someone else is speaking? They seem to be open and responsive to your comedy, or they appear closed-off and insulted.
When someone reacts badly to your joke, are you prepared to step back and not make a big deal out of it?
What happens if you say or do anything that offends someone? Is it simple for you to apologize right away?


 2 : Don’t use humor to mask other feelings.

When faced with adversity, having a sense of humor may help you remain resilient. On the other hand, there are instances when humor is detrimental to one’s well-being—for example, when it is used as an excuse to escape, rather than cope with, unpleasant feelings. Laughter may serve as a cover for emotions of pain, anxiety, anger, and disappointment that you don’t want to experience or don’t know how to express yourself in a constructive way.


You may be humorous while discussing the truth, but lying about the truth is not amusing. When you use humor and playfulness to mask other emotions, you generate uncertainty and distrust in your interpersonal connections, which is harmful. Misplaced humour may be found in the following examples:


Peter is a continuous source of amusement. Nothing appears to be able to bring him down, and he never seems to take anything seriously. It doesn’t matter what happens to him or to anybody else; he always manages to create a comedy out of it. Despite the fact that Peter is afraid of closeness and commitment in his relationships, he utilizes comedy to distract himself from unpleasant emotions and to keep people at arm’s length.


Karen is often envious and possessive of her lover Jake, but she has never learnt to express her anxieties and concerns in a safe and open environment. Instead, she expresses her emotions via what she considers to be humorous means. Her jokes, on the other hand, generally have a cutting, even aggressive edge to them, and John doesn’t find them to be amusing in the least. Instead of laughing, he often exhibits a calm coldness or retreat in response.

Whether you want to know if someone is using humor to hide other emotions, ask yourself the following questions:


Is the joke being played at the expense of another individual or group? Is it more about tearing down and dividing than it is about building up and uniting?
Trying to share a shared laugh is one thing; but, if you have another agenda (e.g., getting a critique in, putting the other person in their place, demonstrating that you are correct, etc.), it’s another.


Do you find yourself using humor to knock yourself down on a regular basis? There’s nothing wrong with making light of one’s own shortcomings in a lighthearted manner, but making self-deprecating comments on a regular basis may be a defensive strategy for those who have poor self-esteem and insecurity.


Is humor your go-to response, even in serious circumstances that require sensitivity and maturity on your part? Have you ever been informed that your jokes are inappropriate or ill-timed by more than one person at the same time?


Do you believe that other people take you seriously? Or do they view you as a clown, someone who can provide a good laugh but who cannot be relied upon in tough circumstances?


 3: Develop a more sophisticated sense of humour.

Some people find it simpler to utilize humor than others, particularly under stressful circumstances. If your efforts aren’t meeting with success, the following suggestions may be of assistance.


Keep an eye out for nonverbal signals. Observe the body language of others around you to determine whether or not they are enjoying your efforts at comedy. Is their grin forced or forced to be fake? Is it that they are leaning away from you or that they are leaning towards you, urging you to keep going?

Keep rude remarks to a minimum. It may be effective for certain comedians on stage, but it is not for everyone.


In addition to falling flat, it has the potential to harm your relationship as a result. If you say anything cruel or disrespectful to someone, even if it is disguised as a joke, you may alienate that person and damage the connection that you have with that individual.

Establish a sense of humor among the group. 



An inside joke is a joke that only the two of you know about and can appreciate together. In many cases, it may be reduced to a single word or brief phrase that reminds you both of a humorous event or entertaining tale, and it is almost always sure to bring a grin or chuckle from the other person. A joke that only two individuals are aware of may foster closeness and bring people closer to one another.




You may start with self-deprecating comedy if you want to be on the safe side.

If you are uncomfortable with lighter conversation or cracking jokes, or if you are unsure of what is acceptable in any particular setting, start by utilizing self-deprecating humor to ease your discomfort. It’s impossible not to admire individuals who don’t take themselves too seriously and are able to gently poke fun at their own flaws and shortcomings.


 At the end of the day, we are all imperfect, and we are all prone to making errors. Making light of your terrible hair day or the coffee you just spilt on yourself is a good way to lighten the mood. No one else is at danger of being offended if your joke fails to land or is delivered incorrectly.



It’s possible to expand your range of comedy to include different kinds of humor after you’ve become used to making jokes about oneself.


Playfully express yourself 

Find it difficult to have fun or to let your hair down? Some people believe they aren’t amusing. Other people may be worried about your appearance or how you sound, and this may make you feel self-conscious.


It’s natural to be concerned about being rejected or ridiculed when trying comedy, but it’s essential to remember that you don’t have to be a comic to use humor to handle conflict. Instead of trying to impress or amuse the other person, just lighten the atmosphere and defuse tension is the goal.


 So don’t be scared to just have a good time and be goofy like a child sometimes. In addition to lowering their defenses, it may put both of you in a more optimistic frame of mind, which is beneficial to smoothing over disagreements in your relationship.


Taking back your inborn sense of play


If you want to cultivate and appreciate your fun, lighter side, there is no time like the present. Just recall that you were naturally lively as a baby if this makes it difficult for you to let go of your grip. The responses of others didn’t bother you in the least, did they? This is a characteristic that can be re-learned.



The Benefits of Play for Adults .

Determine the activities you like that are on the verge of becoming entertaining or playful. Among other things, you may want to consider:

Jokes may be told or received.

Funny films or television programs should be seen.
When you’re alone, it’s fun to dance around to cheesy music.
In the shower, sing a song that is light and fun.

Keep an eye on the comic strips and the humorous sections of newspapers.
Following the discovery of fun and playful activities that you already love, you may experiment with incorporating them into your personal and professional lives. Whatever you do, find pleasant hobbies that allow you to loosen up and embrace your playful side when you are among other people. Laughing and joking about makes it easy. The more you do it, the simpler it gets.


Make use of the “experts” for practice.
Animals should be entertained. Puppies, kittens, and other animals of all ages—young and old—are enthusiastic playmates who are always ready to run about and have fun. Participate in pet-care volunteer opportunities at a shelter or rescue organization, stop to play with a friendly animal in your area, or think about adopting a pet of your own.

With infants and young children, engage in interactive play. 


Children, particularly young children, are the true experts on human play. Making time to play with youngsters who are familiar with and trust you is an excellent approach to reconnect with your childlike side.



Interact with customer service representatives in a light-hearted manner. The majority of individuals working in the service sector are friendly, and you’ll find that many of them will appreciate a little lighthearted banter from time to time! Play a pleasant cashier, receptionist, waitress, hostess or salesman using your wits to see how far you can go.

Become more integrated in your life as humor and play become a part of your everyday routine, and you’ll discover chances to put your newly acquired talents to use in order to preserve your relationships and resolve conflicts.