“Happiness is a mode of travel rather than a destination.” Margaret Lee Runbeck (Margaret Lee Runbeck)
People who are happy understand that happiness is a choice. They understand it isn’t a reaction to the current situation. Happiness, on the other hand, is a choice that may be made despite them. They’ve gotten rid of the mindset that says you have to wait for things to be perfect before you can enjoy life.
Unhappy individuals, on the other hand, are continually looking for happiness. They think that happiness is contingent on the acquisition of something new or unique. They are always chasing, but never succeeding. They frequently look for it in all the wrong places.
Take a look at this list of 9 Unhappy People’s Favorite Places to Find Happiness.
1. When they make their next buy. Too many people have been conditioned to believe that the best way to achieve pleasure is to look for it in their next purchase.
As a result, people seek happiness in larger homes, finer automobiles, more advanced technology, and more trendy apparel. The majority of possessions are never enough. In actuality, the pleasure they provide is really temporary. Those who seek happiness in them are left to chase after the next purchase… and the next… and the next.
2. When they get their next payment. “Money won’t make you happy,” claimed Zig Ziglar, “but everyone wants to find out for themselves.”
I have happy friends who possess considerably less than I do, and I have miserable friends who possess considerably more. Happiness is not a result of having a lot of money. It has never been and will never be. And the sooner we recognize this fact, the sooner we will be able to enjoy the freedom that comes with not seeking wealth.
3. In their subsequent partnership. We were born to be in relationships, and there is immense delight in them. Relationships, on the other hand, need humility and selflessness by their very nature.
And thinking that there is someone else out there who can bring you perfect happiness is like embarking on a trip with no end… and, more often than not, with devastating results. When we stop looking for someone to meet our wants and instead use relationships to satisfy the needs of others, our relationships become significantly stronger and more rewarding.
4. In their upcoming physical improvement. It is essential to maintain a healthy body and eat a nutritious food. I would never argue against their advantages. They enable us to make the most of our days and be more productive.
Those seeking satisfaction in tighter butts, smaller waistlines, and bigger biceps, on the other hand, are seeking satisfaction in physical bodies that were never created to provide such results. Physical discipline is very important to happy individuals. They do not, however, depend their pleasure on their beauty.
5. At their next competition. I’ve come to see that our world’s competitive attitude is built on a false foundation.
It thinks that there is a limit amount of pie to go around, and that one person’s success in life means one fewer opportunity for me. However, this viewpoint is erroneous. The pie continues to expand. Those who seek satisfaction by mercilessly defeating others are merely competing with themselves. In actuality, the easiest way to discover pleasure in your own life is to assist others in doing so.
6. When they get their next job. It is critical to seek job that you enjoy in a field that benefits society and the environment. This form of labor provides us with a sense of fulfillment and potential in our life.
Unfortunately, I believe that too many individuals nowadays are looking for the “ideal” work, one that pays well, has few hours, and is free of stress. However, the ideal job does not exist. Work requires blood, sweat, and tears in order to function. Those who are always dissatisfied with their current job because they believe the next one will be ideal are looking for happiness in the wrong areas. While there may come a moment when you need to change jobs, there may also come a moment when you need to change your approach to them.
7. In their next attempt to flee. People who are unhappy look for ways to go away. They feel that diverting their attention away from their current situation is a quick way to happiness. They frequently resort to television, addiction, or weekend activities.
Meanwhile, the current situation has not altered; it has just become more convoluted. People who are happy are aware of their circumstances and do not seek to escape them. Instead, they prefer to cultivate inner serenity.
8. Assist the next individual in resolving their issues. Blame is a terrible habit that stands in the way of enjoyment. Any desire or drive to improve is quickly removed when the blame for deficiencies is shifted on another person or external issue.
Instead, the victim is imprisoned in a jail that they constructed themselves, waiting for someone else to come along and address their issues. But we lose every time we blame someone else for our misery. And it keeps fulfillment and pleasure just beyond of grasp in the long term.
9. In recognizing and accepting things as they are. Happiness may be found at any time in our lives, no matter what our circumstances are. However, finding satisfaction in them does not imply that we are unconcerned about things that may be altered.
This does not imply that we should cease striving, growing, or developing. We don’t use satisfaction or happiness as a justification for mediocrity. Instead, we take steps ahead with confidence and discipline to become the finest versions of ourselves possible—not just for our own sake, but also for the sake of others.
Your happiness is totally determined by your desire to be happy, and this may be one of the most essential life lessons we will ever learn.
How to Make Your Life Happier.
Always strive to improve.
A 2007 research based on data from the British Household Panel Survey found some intriguing conclusions on happiness’s beginnings.
Is it attaining what we want or having what we want that makes us happy? Surprisingly, it appears that it is dynamic events such as “beginning a new relationship” that make us the happy, rather than the status of “being married.”
Similarly, “finding a new job” had a bigger impact on happiness than one’s current work situation. Happiness was boosted more by “becoming pregnant” than by “becoming a parent.” Similarly, “beginning a new course,” “passing an exam,” and “purchasing a new property” all scored well on the pleasure meter.
The end of a relationship, losing a career, and losing a parent, on the other hand, had a poor correlation with happiness. What does it all mean, and what makes people in the United Kingdom happy? Let’s think about this for a bit.
Positive dynamic occurrences, rather than static conditions, appear to be the most important. While this may seems trivial at first, it makes sense if you consider happiness to be a “transient” feeling.
What conclusions can we draw from this research? If you want to be happy or stay optimistic in your life, remember that there is always the chance of a pleasant occurrence around the corner for you. And if you don’t want to wait, get out there and make something wonderful happen. “The greatest way to forecast your future is to create it,” Abraham Lincoln once said.
Surround yourself with people who are happy.
A 2008 research used data from the Framingham Heart Study, which monitored 4,739 participants from 1983 to 2003 in Framingham, Massachusetts, to address one intriguing question: does our happiness rely on the happiness of others around us?
Surprisingly, the study’s findings revealed that this was really the case.
Individuals who surround themselves with joyful people are more likely to be happy themselves in the future.
Furthermore, the study demonstrated that this impact was the consequence of pleasure spreading, rather than an artifact of cheerful individuals gravitating toward one another.
According to this study, having a buddy who lives within a mile of you and that friend becoming happy increases your chances of becoming happy by roughly 25%. The same was true for spouses (up to 16%), siblings living within a mile (up to 28%), and next-door neighbors (up to 16%). (up to 70 percent ). Surprisingly, the happiness of coworkers had little influence on the happiness of others in their immediate vicinity.
So, what does it all mean? Surround yourself with as many cheerful people as possible, since their happiness will most certainly extend to you.
Recall happy memories
In a study of over 300 young adults conducted in Australia, it was discovered that those who recalled memories of problem-solving (a time when you successfully managed a challenge) or identity (something that shaped you into the person you are today) had lower negative emotions and higher positive emotions, respectively.
These findings show that merely recalling a point in your life when you overcame a problem or went through a big life experience that changed you for the better might help you improve your mood and, as a result, your happiness.
Self-Transcendence vs. Collective Goals
According to a 2019 South Korean study based on data from the Korean General Social Survey (KGSS), respondents who prioritized spirituality were the most likely to be happy, followed by those who prioritized social interactions (friends, family, neighbors).
External successes (money, education, career, leisure) were associated with the lowest levels of happiness.
These findings show that pursuing objectives associated to collectivism or self-transcendence may be more significant to improving and retaining happiness in South Korea than pursuing everything that glitters with riches. These findings are in line with what has been discovered in the field of positive psychology.
It’s obvious that what makes you happy varies depending on where you live (although these are limited studies that looked at different concepts). Positive change was prized by the British, Americans were happiest when individuals around them were happiest, Australians were happiest while recalling good experiences, and South Koreans were happiest when engaged in collectivistic and spiritual endeavors.
The unifying thread, though, is that happiness is a fluid concept that may be improved at any time. If you actually want to be happy, surround yourself with positive people and look beyond your current circumstances to the wider picture, both in terms of people and your own personal situation.
Is Positive Psychology and Positive Thinking the Same Thing?
Positive thinking, positive affirmations, and thought-based positivity are all terms used in the discipline of positive psychology, which is concerned with happiness.
People frequently claim that they are lovers of positive psychology and have employed positive thinking in their life for years when I talk to them about positive psychology, a fascinating and relatively young discipline of psychology.
Some people claim that positive psychology is merely self-delusion (or any of a number of other fallacies regarding positive thinking), and that action-based tactics for getting into a happy mood are far superior to thinking procedures. Both of these reactions, however, are predicated on the frequent misconception that “positive thinking” and “positive psychology” are the same thing. Not just for stress management, but also for general wellbeing, happiness, and life satisfaction, it’s critical to know the difference between the two. Let’s have a look at it in more detail.
Positive thinking may be an excellent stress reliever. It might entail an intentional concentration on the positives of a situation rather than its downsides, or on a concentration away from unpleasant occurrences; it might include an intentional endeavor to back away from focusing on the downsides in life. It entails positivity, appreciation, and support, as well as positive affirmations and a concerted attempt to cease whining.
Positive thinking is mostly centered on cognitive (thought-based) methods for achieving a more emotionally positive state of mind, with the premise that when we think more positively, we feel more favorably. we feel better, and we operate from a stronger, more functional place within ourselves.
Instead of acting our way into a new frame of mind, positive thinking is a technique of thinking ourselves into better conduct and greater resilience. Positive thinking may assist with stress management in a variety of ways.
Positive psychology, on the other hand, is a little different. It can encompass all of these things, but it is the scientific study of what helps people flourish, and it goes beyond what many people think of as “warm and fuzzy feelings” to include some substantive treatments based on empirical findings. Positive psychology, like cognitive-behavioral therapy, focuses on actions that can lead to a more optimum state of mind as well as thinking patterns that lead to more functional actions.
Positive psychology, in contrast to CBT, focuses on what helps individuals who are currently functioning flourish even more, rather than on solving an issue that may be creating problems in someone’s life. Positive psychology may assist people who are performing well reach their full potential, and it can also assist those who are coping with stress quite well become more resilient to stress and enjoy their lives to a greater extent.
Although positive psychology is a large field of research, it has a few key components. The following are some of the most popular positive psychology concepts and suggestions, which is one of my favorite disciplines of research.
How gratitude works and how to apply it in your life.
Pleasures: These may or may not be what you expect, but they can help you develop stress resistance.
Gratifications: These require a bit more work than pleasures, but they are well worth the effort in terms of benefits; they have the potential to alter your life.
It is critical to find significance in one’s life. Here’s why—and how to do it.
Optimism: What does optimism entail (and how does it serve us), and how does it benefit us?
16 Ways to Make Your Life More Fulfilling
While happiness is defined by more than just a lack of stress, there are links between stress-relieving activities and happiness. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, has studied and written extensively on “genuine happiness,” which is enabled and strengthened by all of the things you probably already know are good for your soul: strong relationships, hard work, and purpose in life.
Dr. Michael Frisch, a Baylor University professor and another positive psychology pioneer, discovered 16 different aspects of life that contribute to a person’s happiness, and assessing satisfaction in these areas can assist quantify a person’s total degree of pleasure.
Exercise, expressing creativity, having supportive connections, having an ordered house, and appreciating your work are all activities that provide enjoyment and reduce stress.
When you’re stressed, the first thing on your mind is usually to relieve the immediate pressures; however, following a stress relief program that also includes activities that are known to increase overall happiness can provide you with both short-term stress relief and the long-term benefits of a happy life. And you’ll be better equipped to weather future stress in your life if you incorporate a general state of happiness into your life and make the lifestyle aspects that encourage it a habit.
How Can You Make Your Life Happier?
The 16 various elements that promote happiness are listed below, along with resources from this site and others that may help you adopt these aspects into your life while also decreasing stress!
Maintaining your physical and mental health, as well as managing any chronic conditions, contributes to your happiness. Chronic health problems can add to your stress and make it harder to accomplish some of the activities that make you happy and relieve stress.
Self-Esteem: It’s not just for our kids that we care about feeling good about themselves; it’s crucial for you to enjoy who you are right now. Low self-esteem appears to have an impact on many aspects of your life.
Goals, Values, and Spiritual Life: These are three distinct concepts, yet they combine to form an essential category that entails an inward, positive emphasis on something bigger than yourself. These are all things that give your life significance, which is linked to your happiness.
Money: It’s true that, beyond a certain point, having more money doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be happier. However, it’s also true that having too little money can cause tension and anxiety.
Work: It’s great to have a job that makes you happy. It is essential to have a work that does not make you unhappy.
Play: Taking time off, having fun, and letting loose are all beneficial to your happiness and stress levels. You don’t have to play all of the time, but you do need some time to relax and enjoy yourself.
Learning: Developing new abilities and growing as a person provides pleasure and may offer you with more resources in your life, which is beneficial to both stress and happiness.
The same is true when it comes to expressing your creativity. Art activities that require creativity have been demonstrated to be beneficial to the health and happiness of people who believe themselves to be non-creative types, such as :
Helping: It turns out that we humans, to some degree or another, like being of service to others. Finding methods to practice altruism might help you stay joyful and stress-free.
Love: This is a no-brainer, but having love in your life is essential for maintaining happiness.
Friendships: Maintaining a supporting network, even if it is tiny, may make you feel happy in practically all aspect of your life and may be a great stress reliever.
Children: Children provide purpose, as well as a lot of smiles and belly laughter, to our life.
Relatives: Unless you come from a family with a lot of turmoil, keeping in touch with relatives may make your life more enjoyable, supportive, and meaningful. Finding low-stress ways to interact with your family, on the other hand, is critical for keeping things calm.
At the end of the day, having a house that serves as a stress-relieving sanctuary is critical.
Living in a close and supportive community, or at least one that is free of feuds and danger, can contribute to happiness and reduce stress by providing support and connection.
Being a member of a community, whether it’s a real community like your neighborhood or a group of friends based on similar values, is a rewarding experience.