Some Suggestions for Keeping the Sexual Fireworks Flying in a Long-Distance Relationship
Long-distance relationships are fraught with difficulties, but arguably the most significant drawback of being separated from your partner — apart from the obvious fact that you won’t be able to see each other — is the inability to engage in frequent physical intercourse.
However, just because you aren’t able to physically have sex together doesn’t mean you have to save every ounce of pleasure and desire for the rare occasions when you are able to share the same bed together again.
In fact, when you’re in a long-term relationship, your sexual chemistry is more essential than ever.
In the absence of physical contact with your spouse, “it becomes less of a passionate relationship,” warns certified sex coach Gigi Engle. “If you are not trying to maintain your sexuality linked to your partner when you cannot physically touch them, it becomes less of a romantic connection.” “You lose the closeness that you get when you are with someone in real life,” says the author.
What is the solution? Put forth the effort — and be imaginative! Keep the sparks alive by being open to new ideas, being creative, and being fun. Here are some suggestions for keeping the closeness alive even whether you’re separated by 200 miles or 2,000 miles.
Become technologically savvy
Make use of technology to engage in some foreplay and suggestive flirting with your spouse. Try:
Sending nudes on a regular basis throughout the day
sending flirtatious text messages
Instead, you may exchange flirtatious texts via a messaging service such as WhatsApp — or even an Apple Notes document, as one pair did. These applications may assist in breaking the ice while maintaining the confidentiality of the discussion (and away from the more mundane conversations of daily life).
Let’s get down to business with the filthy banter.
Make use of filthy conversation as an opportunity to reminisce about previous sexual interactions with one another and dream about potential sexual encounters with one another in the future. Phone sex may be entertaining!
Have a masturbation session with your partner.
Spend some quality time chatting over the phone about the sex toys you want to explore together, including remote app sex toys that let you to manage your partner’s enjoyment. You may even attempt role-playing while masturbating over the phone during your masturbation sessions. Apart from that, video-conferencing applications such as Skype, Google Hangouts, and FaceTime may make it seem like you are in the same room with your spouse, even if you are separated by hundreds of miles.
Show each other pornographic scenes that you both like.
Discuss the advantages of viewing porn together and offer each other comments on the aspects of your favorite scenes that you find most appealing.
5. Put it down on paper.
To let your lover know you’re thinking about them in all the nicest ways, write sexy handwritten cards to him or her.
Discuss your next romantic outing with your partner.
If you’re missing your spouse, take a deep breath and send flirtatious messages about the last time you saw each other to keep the flame burning. Describe what you want your partner to do to you in your next conversation to help you daydream about the next time you’ll be with each other. Immerse yourself in the present moment. Also, let them to do the same!
How to Keep the Fires of Sexual Intimacy Burning in Long-Distance Relations
Couples in long-distance relationships are often unaware of the benefits of having their spouse close by to share experiences with. The emoji and the GIF are used to convey affection. The emotional affirmation you seek may arrive a few seconds (or even minutes) later if your internet connection is unreliable. In this day and age of high-tech communication, maintaining sexual closeness may be difficult for couples who are separated by long distances.
Forging long-term partnerships requires the use of sex. Beyond being a pleasant and stress-relieving activity, sex also contributes to the development of mutual trust and love between couples. Extended durations of sexual deprivation in long-distance relationships (LDRs) may be detrimental to the health of a partnership.
Long-distance relationships provide a number of unique difficulties. The following are some examples:
If a couple lives away from one another, miscommunication may be a significant source of frustration for them both. The failure to recognize nonverbal signals from the other person may result in misunderstanding of their intentions..
In order to avoid boredom, couples often recount the events of their day rather than discussing their emotional responses. It is possible that over time, this may cause discussions to become stilted or monotonous, thereby producing distance rather than intimacy between participants.
A normal feeling, jealousy may show itself in a relationship when there is a sense of insecurity or a lack of trust between the partners. This may occur in long-distance relationships when a spouse is seen to be spending more time with other people or engaging in other activities than with the partner.
In the absence of their significant other, there will inevitably be times when a fog of loneliness will hang over couples who are separated in both time and space from each other.
Inability to have physical intimacy – One of the most important difficulties of LDRs is the inability to have physical closeness because of the separation. While adultery is the traditional source of concern, the true risk is the loss of physical and emotional connection that intimacy provides.
There are problems that may arise in every relationship, regardless of how long they have been together or separated. If left ignored, these difficulties may ultimately erode their emotional bond and suffocate their sexual attraction.
Despite the fact that you are thousands of miles away from your partner, maintaining your closeness is not difficult. Here are some helpful hints for meeting each other’s sexual demands despite the enormous differences in time and space between them.
Your relationship will thrive if you maintain constant contact with each other, even if you are separated by distance. Make an effort not to let a day go by without speaking with your significant other. Everything and everything should be discussed openly and honestly. Talk about your ambitions, objectives, and other personal elements of each other’s lives if you want to get away from the boring day-to-day events of your life. In doing so, you will not only have more topics to discuss, but you will also have the opportunity to get to know your spouse better.
In order to increase your sexual attractiveness, you should become more open about personal subjects as you remove the layers. You’re thinking about your spouse, and how does that make you feel? How about the next time you get together with your partner? What do you wish to do together? Making yourself vulnerable in this way can assist you in keeping the flame of desire burning until your next meeting, and it will also communicate to the other person how you feel about them.
When reaching out to your spouse, make use of all available communication methods. There are a variety of additional communication channels available to you, in addition to email and text messaging:
A handwritten letter – Sending a letter that you created yourself adds emotional depth and closeness to any communication. Take the additional time to express your feelings to your spouse and let them know that you are thinking of them. According to psychologists, a letter written in blue ink communicates more warmth than a letter written in any other color ink, regardless of the font used.
In real time, mobile video chat applications such as Skype and FaceTime are a great way to stay connected to your family and friends, whether you’re on your way to work, doing errands, or just resting in your bed. Making a weekly appointment to talk with your spouse will give you both something to look forward to and will enable you to plan your week appropriately.
VOICE MESSAGES — If you’re in the mood for something a little extra, leaving a seductive voice message on someone’s answering machine with your turned-on voice may help spice things up.
Send your spouse a naughty gift such as an erotic movie or book, a sex toy, or some lingerie to up the ante on your relationship. SEND NAUGHTY GIFTS –
Flirting with someone does not need that you be in a relationship with them. If you’re in the shower or getting ready, send your loved one a random picture or video of yourself. Your name will be brought to the forefront of their thoughts as a result of this action. Simple messages like “I miss you” or “I wish you were here to assist me in putting these trousers on” would suffice. A grin on your partner’s face is almost guaranteed when you do this.
Experiment with sexting over the phone.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, take use of contemporary technology to spice up your sexual life. When couples have phone sex, they may feel less stressed and become more intimate.
Simple conversations may be transformed into passionate encounters with little effort. Asking what your partner is wearing or saying what you would do if you were right next to them are both effective ways to start phone sex conversations.
It is also possible to get fresh insights into what excites the other person via intimate discussions. This may aid in the development of your own personal love language and the learning of new methods to please your spouse when you next meet in person.
If filthy conversation and phone sex don’t sit well with you, try starting naughty talks and flirting with your spouse to get your sexual mood up and running again.
Face your fears and apprehensions
It may be difficult to manage long-distance relationships when they first start. When one party relocates to a different city, a steady connection may have problems. Time differences between different time zones may make it difficult to connect with others. Some friction is to be expected in light of these stresses. Communicate your fears and concerns to the other person, even if they seem little. A crucial component is communication.
However, there are instances when the things you are concerned about while you are away are really covers for your own uncertainty, loneliness, or other unpleasant emotions. Identify the underlying feelings and express them to your spouse so that they may be understood.
To flourish, long-distance relationships need a tremendous lot of patience and tolerance. Create a schedule for your dates and, if at all possible, eliminate distractions so that you and your partner can concentrate on spending quality time together. Plan your personal times in a unique way, even if it’s simply a video chat with no interruptions.
Make the expressions “Good Morning” and “Good Night” a habit.
Every day, say hello to one another. It may seem to be so plain and straightforward, yet it is effective. In addition to letting the other person know that you are safe and sound, this little act of informing them helps them feel loved since they see that they are the first thing on your thoughts when you get up and the last thing on your mind before you go to bed.
Engage in sexually explicit behavior with one another.
It is undeniably one of the most essential things that may exist between couples, whether they are old or new. Not only is sex a biological need, but it is also an emotional necessity. Sexual desire helps to hold a relationship together and prevents you from straying away from one another. Keep the embers burning by sending each other provocative messages, innuendos, jokes, and photos to keep the fires blazing. However, you should be cautious about how much flesh you expose and how far you go. Returning to point #3, just because the other person feels comfortable sending you anything they want does not obligate you to do the same while feeling uncomfortable or uneasy about it. Set some limits – any boundaries are preferable than none. It’s quite OK to reset them as time passes and circumstances change.
Stay away from “risk” circumstances.
If you are aware that going to the club or drinking with your group of friends late at night may cause your spouse to be dissatisfied or angry, you should either: refrain from doing so, or inform your partner ahead to reassure them.
Don’t take any chances when it comes to this kind of situation, or you may end up placing your spouse in a position where they feel helpless and powerless. Although you may not intend it in this manner, it is possible for them to believe or feel that they have no influence on your decision-making process. It is not worth the stress, the misconceptions, and the subsequent explanations after the incident. It’s not as if the relationship isn’t complex enough as it already is.
Do not set yourself up for failure if you know that hanging out with your workplace eye-candy after work, or going out with someone from your past — say, a former lover — might lead to anything more serious in the future.
Yes, you should be aware of the risks before joining a scenario. Don’t simply follow your heart’s desires (or your nether region). Pay attention to your thoughts as well.
Collaborate on projects.
Play a game on the internet with your friends. (Does anybody have a subscription to Jackbox.tv?)
Together, you may watch a documentary or a movie on Amazon Prime or Netflix. (Frozen II is also excellent for the souls of adults.)
Play the guitar and sing to each other via Skype or Zoom while one of you is doing it.
Take a short break and go for a stroll with your companion. Turn on the video-call feature and take turns showing each other the surroundings.
Together, do some internet shopping (using screensharing!).
Make use of your imagination.
Separate tasks that are comparable.
Make your own little bookclub to read and discuss books. Share your Kindle purchases with your friends. You may even send them the books you’ve completed through snail mail.
(Extra tip: If they don’t read, don’t bother to date them if they don’t want to be bothered.)
Consider listening to the same Audible ebooks, podcasts, and series, then expressing your views about them.
Continue to eat the same foods. Recipes for weekend bakes and meal preps are encouraged. Anyone interested in taking a break?
Carry on with the same exercise. Get the same kudos as before (booty bands, jumprope, etc.). Please share your rep totals for the week.
If you want to build shared experiences and memories with others, you don’t have to be doing things at the same time in the same place.
Pay each other personal visits.
When it comes to long distance relationships, visits are the high point.
After all of your waiting, longing, and abstinence, you finally get to see each other and complete all of the small things that have been holding you back. Making intimate contact with them by kissing their lips, sniffing their hair, and tracing the features of their face. Things that are so normal to other couples, yet are very unique and particularly personal for individuals in long distance relationships are described as follows: All at once, it will look and feel like fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows, and butterflies, among other things. Make preparations. Make your flight reservations as soon as possible. Either they come to you or you come to them. The excitement and aliveness of the connection is maintained by the anticipation.
Have a clear vision of what you want to achieve.
“At the end of the day, what do we hope to have accomplished?” “How do you see our future?”
These are the kinds of questions you should be asking yourself. The reality is that no pair can maintain a long-distance relationship indefinitely. We must all come to terms with the fact that we must eventually settle down.
As a result, come up with a strategy with your partner. Create a timeline, noting the expected times apart and the estimated periods together (number 9). Make a plan for reaching your ultimate objective, whether it is in five months or five years.
It is critical that you and your partner be on the same page and have the same objectives. Having the same goals can help you go in the same direction, toward a future in which you will be together.
Take pleasure in spending time with your friends and family.
Take advantage of this opportunity to spend extra time with your friends and family. A long-distance relationship may be draining on both the cerebral and emotional sides of one’s being at times. Make an effort not to get absorbed with it. Trust me when I say that fretting wouldn’t help one bit (see #18 above). Seek emotional support from your friends and family members. It’s possible that they may not understand what you’re going through or why you’re putting yourself through something like this, but at the very least you will have an avenue to get some of your frustrations out. They may or may not have the counsel you’re searching for, but at the very least they’ll keep you company.
Always be truthful with one another.
Although being separated by a great distance may make it easier to conceal information from the other person or avoid unpleasant discussions, remember that the truth will always come out. Don’t let any secret or any emotion to consume you from the inside out. Talk about your insecurities, your worries, and your concerns with others. If you need confidence, you should request it.
Keep in mind that you’re all in this together, so be open and honest with your fellow travelers. Allow your spouse to assist you if you are experiencing difficulties. It is preferable to identify an issue at an early stage rather than waiting until it is too late to do something about it.
Be aware of one another’s schedules.
It’s useful to be aware of when your spouse is busy and when they are available so that you may send them a text or contact them at the appropriate times. In order to avoid disturbing your partner when they are in the midst of a lesson or midway through a work meeting, you should refrain from doing so.
Each other’s mid-terms, examinations, business trips, job interviews, and other important events in their lives should be known to one another. This is particularly important if you and your partner are in separate time zones from one another.
Be on the lookout for one another’s social media activity.
It is OK to like each other’s pictures on social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram. Send each other tweets. Let’s all tag each other. Share information about one another on social media. Demonstrate your concern. Keep your calm while you’re stalking each other. Don’t make a big deal out of it.
Maintain a good attitude by speaking positively, thinking positively, and being optimistic.
How frequently do you complain, and how often do you show your affection for someone else? Keep an eye on the language you use since it has the potential to either lift or lower the energy of a relationship’s energy.
“I despise this,” “I hope this ends soon,” and “Why are things so difficult?” are some of the phrases you’re using. For example, “I love that we still speak frequently and feel so close” and “I can’t wait to see your grin in person again” are examples of positive statements.
You may feel lonely and irritated throughout the waiting period, and you should be aware that grumbling about the situation will not assist you to keep the relationship alive. A long distance relationship will not succeed unless it is founded on the principles of hope, belief, and optimism. If you don’t have positive feelings about the relationship and believe that it has the potential to work out for the better, things are likely to go south.
One piece of advice is to remember to be thankful. Be grateful that you have someone to adore and who loves you in return for your efforts. Take time to be grateful for the small things, such as the handwritten note that came safely in your mailbox this morning. Remember to express gratitude for one another’s safety and health. Be grateful that the universe brought you into each other’s life, no matter how far away you are geographically from one another.
Give each other pet names that are unique to them.
Because, well, pet names are adorable, to begin with. They are the ones who keep the lovey-dovey flowing. Putting a pet name on someone, like shown in the film Call Me By Your Name, may make them feel more unique, as demonstrated in the film. It’s almost as if they own a piece of you, and you own a piece of them. Having your own secret codes adds an extra degree of complexity to your connection, which aids in its consolidation.
Keeping the other person informed about your job, friends, and family is important.
Because gossip and controversy are the most entertaining forms of entertainment. Not only that, but you want them to be aware of what you’re dealing with outside of the relationship as well. Inquire about their opinions. Even if they don’t have any excellent ones, you should be grateful that you have someone to vent your frustrations to. Inquiring about their personal lives as well. Whenever feasible, try to do video calls. Even just looking into their eyes and listening to their voice may easily make things seem a whole lot better.
Don’t forget about yourself, either.
Consider the following question: What have I gained from this long-distance relationship? What aspects of my personality have improved as a result of this experience? You may be surprised by some of the answers.
Perhaps you will discover that a long distance relationship teaches you more about trust, belief, goal-setting, selflessness, and unconditional love than a traditional partnership would. As you get older, you realize that loving someone from a distance forces you to love yourself more.
It takes maturity for a long-distance relationship to succeed. Both parties must be confident in their own abilities to reassure themselves when none is provided; comfort themselves when comfort is far; and cheer themselves up when things become difficult and emotions get confused.
Perhaps, learning to love someone from a distance is also about learning to love oneself more fully and intimately.