how to deal with sexual abuse by one’s father

how to deal with sexual abuse by one’s father

how to deal with sexual abuse by one’s father

Abuse of Children from an Early Age

The issue of sexual abuse in the home is one of the most puzzling and complex issues that our families are confronted with. While it is impossible to gauge the entire scope of the issue, the sheer number of families impacted by this phenomena is astounding, as is the number of children afflicted by it. An estimated 9.2 percent of children are sexually abused, according to a 2010 study by the United States Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). 


That equates to about 1 in every 5 females and 1 in every 20 boys. The vast majority of children are abused by someone they are familiar with: a family member, a close family friend, a member of the church, or a youth leader, for instance. Keeping a family secret about child sexual abuse is a difficult and horrific experience that has far-reaching consequences for the whole family.





 Therapy for families who have been affected by sexual abuse, on the other hand, may assist them in healing from the trauma and in developing skills to ensure that no more abuse occurs in their family, and ideally for generations to come.





What precisely qualifies as child sexual exploitation?

Child Sexual Abuse is defined as follows:

1. Any sexual interaction between an adult and a kid, which may be described as the following:

The act of touching with the intent of sexually arousing the child or providing sexual arousal for the offending party, kissing by someone whose purpose is similar to touching fondling of genitals or other parts of the body in a sexual or prolonged manner overt sexual contact, such as oral-genital contact, manual stimulation of genitals, or sexual intercourse


2.The use of a kid in a sexually provocative way, such as exposing a youngster to erotic materials or taking sexual photographs of them, or conversing sexually with them, is considered to be a kind of child abuse.



3. Sexual interaction with a person who is at a more advanced developmental stage than the kid is prohibited. Even children who are at the same developmental stage as the perpetrator may see the act as abusive if physical, emotional, or psychological damage is done or compulsion is employed.



It should be noted that these are not legal definitions, and that they may differ from one state to another. If you have any doubts about whether or not sexual abuse has happened, contact your local police station.

When it comes to children, what are the long-term consequences of sexual abuse in their early years?

There is no doubt that child sexual abuse has long-term negative consequences for many, if not the majority, of those who have been harmed as a result. Eating disorders, drug addiction disorders, and sexual dysfunction are just a few examples of what you may encounter. Some of the most frequent ramifications are: guilt, shame, re-victimization, reduced self-esteem, depression, interpersonal problems, and/or various kinds of dissociative disorders, among others. 

Not every kid who has been subjected to abuse will exhibit symptoms, since this is not always the case. 


It has been shown repeatedly that sexual abuse is harmful and requires extensive and specialized action to halt the abuse while also assisting in rehabilitation. Since children must trust and depend on adults, as well as those older than them, to keep them safe, even cooperative victims who think they have given their permission are likely to suffer unfavorable consequences. 


It is a breach of their trust and well-being to be requested to engage in activities that are unsuitable for their age/stage of development, even if they comply.





What is the course of therapy for sexual abuse in childhood?

History has shown that treating child sexual abuse may be divided into two main categories: a victim advocacy/child welfare strategy and a family-systems approach. Although a lot of doctors and academics have concluded that a complete treatment model that incorporates components from both the child advocate and family systems approaches may be the most successful, this has only been shown in recent years.



 A complete program will address the needs of all members of the family while also taking into consideration the broader legal and social justice systems. In most cases, there is no one cause of sexual abuse in the family, and effective therapy should address all of the many levels of vulnerability to abuse.



If the victim is a kid, treatment may involve customized counseling sessions that may include aspects of play therapy if the child is a young child. Talk therapy, such as trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), Solution Focused therapy (SFT), or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), may be utilized if the kid is an older child. Group therapy for children of comparable ages may be beneficial since this format can teach social skills and other social aids that can help the kid feel less alone, which can help the child feel less isolated.



A family therapy program may involve meetings with the whole family to help them understand what has occurred and establish new boundaries to prevent future damage from occurring. The victim’s acting out behavior should be able to be reframed by the parents as not being negative conduct, but rather a method for the victim to communicate with the parents about the difficulties they are experiencing. 


Counseling for couples may also be beneficial in repairing any harm that has been done to the relationship as a result of going through the legal procedure together. Parenting groups are used to educate new parenting techniques as well as to assist parents in processing their sorrow and guilt after a child’s death. 


Individual counseling for one of the parents may be beneficial when one of the parents has experienced abuse in the past or when one of the parents is having a more difficult time processing what occurred to their kid.



How do you go about finding treatment?

It is critical to search for certain characteristics in a program while seeking therapy for childhood sexual abuse, regardless of whether the abuse has just been revealed or if it has occurred before. A effective treatment program that takes a systemic and contextual approach to child sexual abuse will be of the most benefit to the victims.



Find out whether there are any advocacy centers in your region by searching online, or contact your local police representative about available services. When a police report is taken, it is common for the officer to give information about local services as well as the name of a police advocate. You may also search for a therapist that has trauma therapy listed as a specialized skill on their website.



Make sure you are working with experts with whom you are comfortable since recovery may take a long time to complete. Because you will be sharing sensitive information with them, you must put your faith in their abilities as experts. Test them out to make sure they are a good match for you, but do not hesitate to move on if you do not believe you have discovered the perfect person for your family.



What exactly are the therapy objectives?

Each and every family sex abuse treatment program must have as its primary objective the complete abolition of all kinds of abuse inside the family. This objective will take priority over all others, and it may dictate the form of treatment as well as the timing of therapeutic activities. Consider the following scenario: If a kid is at danger of future abuse because the abuser family member continues to deny the abuse, then removal of the abusive family member would be appropriate.



Another overarching aim is to decrease the family’s vulnerability to abuse to the point where there is little or no chance of future abuse occurring in the family. In order to recover from past abuse and to avoid future abuse, this instructional material will assist the family in establishing new boundaries and rituals to help them move forward.

Finally, the victim’s recovery is an essential therapeutic objective to achieve. 


The primary objectives of the child’s individual treatment will be to help him or her feel secure again and to work through the trauma that they have encountered. According to research, going through the treatment process is beneficial in terms of avoiding or reducing the occurrence of long-term consequences in the future. 


Developing a solid support network and feeling empowered to avoid future abuse are other essential components of building resilience.



Who is engaged in the development of a treatment plan?

Many treatment programs include a therapeutic team that includes the patient’s family as well as all of the experts that are engaged in their case. Creating this team with the family gives them a feeling of power and control over the situation. The treatment team meets on a regular basis to review treatment plans, progress, and, ultimately, termination of the therapy. 


Having everyone “on the same page” during therapy makes the whole therapeutic process much more comfortable for everyone involved.



Creating and sustaining a sense of hope

Other than sexual abuse, there are few issues that may leave a whole family feeling more forlorn than this one. Hope is born out of a fundamental conviction in the goodness of people and their capacity to improve their circumstances. 


In most therapy programs, the premise is that families can and should eliminate sexual abuse from their homes with the assistance of professionals and their own efforts. A family’s hope that they are breaking the pattern of abuse may motivate them to make the necessary adjustments to ensure a better future for their children.



Treatment phases are divided into three categories.
The majority of family therapy programs that are designed to address sexual abuse are divided into the following stages:


Stage 1: Establishing a Change-Producing Context Stage 1 involves the establishment of a sense of security and optimism. The members of the family agree to put out effort to bring about change.

 In order to evaluate the issue and define the therapeutic objectives, a collaborative connection between the client and the experts is established.


 A comprehensive treatment plan is developed in collaboration with customers and healthcare experts. Developing New Alternatives and Challenging Old Patterns is the second stage. The family is encouraged to confront harmful ideas, emotions, and behaviors that are no longer helpful in order to make room for more adaptable and healthy alternatives. The strengths of the family are taken into consideration while developing therapeutic treatments. 


At the end of Stage 2 of the program, participants may actively engage in group, individual, family, or couple sessions. Consolidation is the third stage. During this stage, the family reinforces the new, good, and adaptive behaviors that they have learned in order to ensure that they will be sustained. 


The family plans for future circumstances and considers how they will continue to make adaptive choices in order to guarantee that no more abuse occurs in their lives or in the lives of future generations of their family.


Restoration as opposed to vengeance
Another contentious distinction between conventional child advocacy and systemic methods to addressing child sexual abuse is the importance of family involvement and whether or not a family can be brought back together after the abuse has occurred. In therapy, retribution refers to the process of planning treatment in order to punish the conduct. 


This may involve prohibiting contact between certain family members while in treatment, threatening the removal of children from the home for overly extended periods of time, and working on the assumption that sexually abusive behavior is difficult to eliminate completely.

Restorative therapy is designed to bring about positive change within the family by promoting healthy, non-abusive family structures in the first place. 


Underlying the philosophy is the belief that individuals are fundamentally good and that this goodness may be restored in order to promote robust, positive-valued, abuse-free relationships. This restoration does not necessarily imply reunion; rather, it entails the establishment of some kind of secure, non-abusive connections in the first place.



These contexts include larger systemic vulnerability factors, such as a family living in a cultural system that may provide tacit approval of sexuality within the family; family system vulnerabilities, such as extreme enmeshment leading to social isolation; and individual vulnerability factors, such as specific paraphilia on the part of the family member who is abusing the other member of the household.



Implementation and use of cognitive-behavioral and psychoeducational methods
Instructing the family on new ways of thinking about their life via cognitive-behavioral techniques may be very beneficial. There are many approaches to this, such as disrupting old thought patterns about how life works and introducing new ways of thinking that promote a better way of life. 


In order to recover from previous abuse and sustain a new way of thinking, it is necessary to break old habits and remove obstacles to good thinking.

A variety of psycho-educational methods are used to assist families in learning knowledge that will help them avoid abuse from occurring in the future, as well as new parenting skills that will help them bond more effectively as a family unit.



The family learns to identify the repeated and dysfunctional patterns that may define their family and that may put them at greater risk of abuse in the future. As soon as these patterns are identified, the family learns how to break them and replace them with new, more healthy connection patterns. In individual, family, and group therapy sessions, this technique is taught over the course of treatment.



Interventions that are based on strengths and focused on solutions
Strength-based interventions are those that concentrate on the positive aspects of a family’s strengths. Solution-Focused interventions pay close attention to what is doing well for the family and determine how the family may do even more of what is working well for them in the future. Because both treatments think that the family understands what will work best for them, they enable the family to collaborate with the therapist to choose what they can accomplish.



Rather than being categorized as “offenders” or “victims,” families and their members are recognized for their competence and complexity as human beings.


 Strength-based and resiliency-based approaches are used to frame the majority of treatments. In order to prevent abuse, family members are urged to participate in activities that build on their skills and interests while also preventing abuse from occurring.

Creating a therapeutic atmosphere that is safe
Whenever a family embarks on a therapeutic journey, they want to feel secure and comfortable. One of the factors that contribute to a secure therapeutic environment is secrecy inside the family and, in certain cases, between family members. When dealing with a family, especially one in which the offender is a member, the therapist should keep a nonjudgmental attitude toward the family. It is not acceptable to make the parents believe that they are responsible for the abuse.



They have the right to determine when to share certain facts and details with their parents if the child victim isn’t ready for them to know. If the child victim isn’t ready for their parents to know certain facts and details, they have the right to decide when to share them with their parents. This is an example of