Don't ever lose your man if he has these 40 qualities.
Let’s discuss creating pro/con lists when considering ending a relationship with a man.
That I have done. I’ve also created lists of my must-haves—things that I know without a doubt every man I date must possess (FYI: that list is short and includes items like “a good heart”). The fundamentals, the fundamentals.
However, it cannot harm to imagine larger.
That is not to suggest you should create a laundry list of requirements so lengthy that it becomes difficult to locate someone who satisfies all of them.
That is not to suggest that you should confine yourself to a certain “kind” of man. I’m just stating that making a list of everything you really want in a man is a good idea and may assist you in identifying a wonderful person for you once you’ve found one.
Here is a list of ten universally good-guy characteristics to get you started.
1. He is a gentleman to everyone.
Not only on your best day, but on your worst day as well. The same holds true for the waiter who delivered the incorrect appetizer, his colleagues, his family (and yours), and just about everyone else.
A truly nice person radiates compassion everywhere he goes.
2. He is really content.
A cheerful individual is not only physically well, but also hopeful and satisfied.
Who wouldn’t want to spend their lives with someone like that?
3. He is devoted to you.
Yes, I am aware. However, I’m referring to the real you. Not only because of your appearance, the things you do for him, or the fact that you are conveniently four inches shorter, but also because you like staying home on Friday evenings and getting along with his family.
He must like the quirky aspects of you, such as how you’re always 30 minutes late for everything, how you always put precisely three lemons in your beverages, how you constantly tell a tale in a long-winded manner, or how you always require the toilet paper roll with the top flap facing down.
4. He looks after you in bed.
A gentleman will always guarantee that the woman is the first to finish.
5. He brings a grin to your face.
While you’re with him and while you’re thinking about him.
6. You are free to be yourself in his presence.
No matter how much you love someone, it will never be genuine unless you can relax your guard around him.
7. He is the only object of your fantasies.
What is it that always makes you turn your head when a beautiful man goes by?
Perhaps you’re a sucker for beautiful blue eyes, wide shoulders, and sculpted arms. Sex appeal, on the other hand, is a holistic concept that, thankfully, encompasses more than abs and penis size – your man doesn’t require any of those things as long as he’s the one you want to be with.
8. He spends similarly to you.
A gentleman who is committed to making your dream tour-de-France trip a reality? Fantastic.
A person who then complains about every dollar spent on such trip? Not at all.
If spending money on excellent rosé and staying at a swanky hotel is your idea of fun, you’re going to need a partner who understands.
Money is at the core of a great deal of marital conflict, so it’s critical to be on the same page about spending.
9. He is not amused by your nonsense.
Whether it’s screaming instead of speaking, being passive-aggressive when you’re angry, or taking out your frustrations on him because of a family/work problem.
He is aware of your habits and not only speaks to you gently about them, but also provides assistance when and when you need it.
Someone who sees you completely, accepts your faults, and is solely interested in helping you become a better person? That is affection.
10. He prioritizes you.
When it comes down to it, you are without a doubt the most important person in his life.
If his buddies suggest a guy’s weekend in Vegas, he declines since he’s in a solid relationship with you, doesn’t want to get into trouble, and understands that it would mean missing the concert you really want to attend.
And if his mother despises the wallpaper you selected for your first apartment together, you’ll never know, since he assures her that as long as you’re happy, he’s happy.
Finding the ideal man may be a difficult task. After all, women profess to want guys who are tall, dark, and beautiful.
However, when it comes to living with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome, some women discover that they prefer men who lack certain characteristics.
Women want guys who can make them laugh, who care about their family and friends, and who will support them through life’s ups and downs.
That is why so many women go for males who are not usually on their radar: these guys possess the boyfriend and even spouse characteristics that women subconsciously want in Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome.
The following are 37 excellent characteristics to seek for in a man:
1) He has a rational mind.
The ideal gentleman is intelligent. There is no way around it. As the adage goes, men with a head on their shoulders are fast thinkers and problem solvers.
They perceive the broad picture and are not bogged down by the minutiae that may stymie them.
This trait may go a long way in a relationship since he is capable of figuring things out and is not afraid to stumble a few times on his path to discovering the correct solutions.
Additionally, one research discovered that the more intelligent a guy is, the less likely he is to be disloyal.
2) He shares your ideals.
Value compatibility is critical in every relationship. If your man is not connected with your life goals, regardless of how handsome he may be, the relationship will not survive long.
Men and women have different views on a variety of issues, but if you can find someone who shares your views on the major issues: life, marriage, money, travel, and charity.
When you find someone who shares your perspective and desires the same things, your relationship becomes lot simpler.
3) He is a cheerful person.
Your life together will be a roller coaster of emotions. Positive attitude is one of the most undervalued characteristics of a man.
Now, positive does not mean disregarding your emotions and marching ahead with a silly grin on your face all the time.
Positivity is not synonymous with cheerfulness. It’s about choosing to see the better side of things and overcoming hardship with resilience.
Seeking for a partner’s optimism makes it simpler to endure the test of time together.
Whether you’re dealing with personal difficulties or shared relationship challenges, having a cheerful man at your side ensures that you have a partner who is ready to work things out.
It makes it simpler to maintain mental health and a positive perspective on life.
What does your guy really want from you (according to his Zodiac sign)? My new Zodiac quiz will reveal this. Take my quiz by clicking here.
4) He has emotional maturity
Long-term partnerships need emotional maturity. When you work with an emotionally mature adult, you will get respect and understanding rather than barbs and snipes.
You want someone who can communicate with you and inform you when anything about the relationship is bothering him, without resorting to verbal or physical assaults.
When someone is emotionally mature, he is able to consider you and how his actions may impact you rather than immediately defending himself.
Individuals who lack a well-rounded sense of self and connections often put themselves first.
This may result in the relationship disintegrating before it has a chance to really blossom.
If you want a spouse who will listen to you and work through problems peacefully with you, seek for someone who is emotionally mature.
5) He has honesty
When it comes to choosing a decent man, it’s sometimes more important what he really believes in than his likes and dislikes.
Everyone has their own moral code – a set of values they adhere to in their daily dealings.
Being with a man who follows and maintains his own moral standards demonstrates that this person has a fundamental regard for things.
He need not be a fireman or an activist to possess a strong sense of integrity.
Simply being able to defend his beliefs and draw a boundary when required is commendable.
In a society when people appear to accept everything and values are often vague, integrity stands out because it demonstrates that you are not indifferent and unconcerned with what is going on around you.
When you come across someone with integrity, you come across someone who is capable of thinking beyond himself and extending that concern to others.
6) He safeguards you
A true gentleman always ensures his partner’s physical and mental safety.
Because males are innately protective of women. According to a research published in the journal Physiology & Behavior, testosterone causes males to feel protective of their mate’s safety and well-being.
Thus, does your guy safeguard you? Not just from physical injury, but also from any bad circumstance that may arise?
Then you’ve met a nice guy.
Indeed, there is an intriguing new idea in relationship psychology that is generating a lot of attention right now. It gets to the core of why men fall in love—and with whom they fall in love.
And it has everything to do with why men desire to defend women and how women enable men to do so. Because if he wants to protect you, you must allow him to do so.
According to this idea, males want to stand up and provide for and protect the women in their life. In other words, guys want to be the hero of your story.
This is a deeply ingrained aspect of male nature.
It is referred to as the hero instinct. I published a comprehensive primer on the subject, which you can see here.
He wants to be seen as a protector. As someone you really desire and need in your life. Not as an accomplice, ‘best buddy,’ or ‘co-conspirator’.
I realize this may sound childish. Women do not need rescuing in this day and age. They are not in need of a ‘hero.’
And I wholeheartedly agree.
However, here is the ironic reality. Men still need heroism. Because it is ingrained in our DNA to seek for connections that make us feel protective.
To understand more about the hero instinct, watch this free online film created by the relationship psychologist who originated the phrase. He offers an enthralling glimpse into this novel idea.
Certain concepts really are game changers. And I believe this is one of them in terms of relationships.
7) He is capable of dispelling tension with a joke.
The ideal gentleman can dispel tension with a well-placed joke. He may not be very amusing, but he has the ability to make you laugh when you need it most.
A woman’s wish list for her ideal boyfriend includes a sense of humor. And it’s understandable: men who can make you laugh are worth keeping.
Indeed, a research discovered that a sense of humor shows intellect and accurately predicts “mating success.”
Life is difficult, and anybody who can break the ice, alleviate stress, and help you view things differently is a keeper.
8) He is concerned about the welfare of your friends and family
Guys are not renowned for their empathy or ability to communicate well. If your man is aware of your friends and family and inquires about them, shows concern for them, and treats them with the same level of respect that he does you, it is a good sign.
When a man gets along with your father or closest friend, it tells a lot about him.
It’s difficult to integrate new individuals into our life, but if he slips in seamlessly, that’s great news for you.
9) He understands how vital your career is to you.
Certain men are frightened by an independent woman, but your boyfriend is not one of them. If he understands who you are and what you stand for, he will understand how vital your work is to you.
Whether you work for someone else or operate your own business, he understands that you need to work but also want to work. It’s an integral element of your identity.
The ideal man will be able to provide you with the space you need to accomplish your goals in life.
10) He values your contribution and what you bring to the table.
It may be difficult to find someone who sees the best in you at times. If you’ve had a series of unsuccessful relationships, you may be fearful of letting this man into your life and seeing what you’re all about. However, do not be alarmed; he is already aware.
He can see what makes you unique from a mile away and wants you to acknowledge your awesomeness. He is fully aware of your intelligence and the value you may provide to both his and your own lives.
And, according to Dr. John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, this is a positive thing.
According to him, if a guy resists the influence of his female spouse, it may be an indication that he has power problems.
11) He is cognizant of the fact that love requires effort.
No relationship, even with the ideal man, is flawless. But that is precisely what makes him perfect: he understands that he will need to show up and work at this relationship in order for it to survive.
Nothing is taken for granted by him. Recognizing that your relationship will have ups and downs indicates that he is willing to put in the effort necessary to make things work between the two of you.
12) He is your greatest admirer
He loves the way you live your life like a superstar. He is not offended by your accomplishment, and he wants you to appear and shine as often as possible.
He understands what it’s like to achieve tremendous success and encourages you in your own career and life. The ideal man understands you have goals in life and desires them for you as well.
According to a research published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, couples who praise one another’s accomplishments are more pleased with their relationships than couples who respond negatively or are apathetic.
13) He is in touch with his emotions
The ideal man is not just attuned to the pulse of your relationship, but also to his own feelings.
Understanding where his thoughts and emotions originate enables him to be present and avoid becoming offended by what
Recognizing wherever his emotional responses originate enables him to be present in the moment and avoid becoming agitated by what is going on around him.
He is grounded and may assist you in remaining so as well. Additionally, he knows that you are not responsible for his happiness and that just being with you makes him happy.
The ideal man is not simple to discover – in reality, the majority of guys are emotionally disconnected from themselves.
What you must realize is that this is not always their fault.
Male and female brains are fundamentally different physiologically. For example, the limbic system is the brain’s emotional processing center, and it is much bigger in a female brain than in a male brain.
That is why women are more emotionally aware. And why men sometimes fail to absorb and comprehend their emotions.
Have you ever been in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man? Rather than him, blame his genetics.
The problem is, in order to activate a man’s emotional center, you must speak with him in a language he understands.
Because you can say specific things to him that will pique his interest in you.
This is something I learnt from relationship expert Michael Fiore. He is a global authority on male psychology and what men want in relationships.
Watch this fantastic free video to discover Michael’s game-changing approach to dealing with guys who refuse to open up to you.
Michael Fiore explains how to entice your guy into a passionate relationship. His methods are surprisingly effective on even the most aloof and commitment-phobic guys.
If you’re looking for scientifically proven methods to get a guy to fall in love with you and STAY in love with you, check out this free video.
14) He is aware of the value he brings to the table.
Confidence is critical. This is less about understanding how great he is and more about being aware of his talents and flaws in the context of relationships.
Having that knowledge means that he feels comfortable in his identity and is unafraid when you take the initiative and do something for the relationship.
Having a firm grasp on what he can offer to the table also instantly sets the bar for everyone.
Confident and comfortable in his identity, an individual is also more open to criticism.
Because they are aware of their strengths and weaknesses, as well as areas for development, enhancing the relationship becomes a question of optimization.
Rather of arguing about who is responsible for what, you two may divide duties according to your skills and limitations.
It simplifies the compatibility games significantly, as he already understands how he can fit into your life.
15) He is a gentleman
Look for a man who is really kind on a regular basis, not only when he is in a good mood.
He might be having the worst day of his life and yet take the effort to ensure your well-being.
There are many methods to detect a person’s goodness.
How is he getting along with his family? How does he handle his coworkers? How is he with strangers? What does he do when he is confronted with adversity?
Kindness is one of the most enduring characteristics to seek in a man.
Being with a nice man may help you boost your self-esteem and alter your perspective on the world.
As a result of experiencing compassion, you become more receptive to offering kindness. It’s a win-win scenario for all parties involved.
What does your guy really want from you (according to his Zodiac sign)? My new Zodiac quiz will reveal this. Take my quiz by clicking here.
16) He is attentive and considers you.
Spending time with you entails being physically present with you. Too many relationships fail because one or both parties lack communication skills.
Thoughtfulness is not always about big gestures and surprises; sometimes the little things, like as listening to one another and reacting carefully throughout discussions, are what really strengthen a relationship.
Thoughtfulness may take in a variety of shapes, depending on your guy’s preferred love language. He may grip your knee on the way home or contact you throughout the day.
He may offer to cook supper in recognition of your exhaustion or assist you with work in order to lighten the burden.
There are many methods to demonstrate thoughtfulness and love, and the majority of them are unique to each individual.
17) He is aware of proper etiquette.
Men are not inherently impolite, but when they exhibit appropriate manners, they really stand out.
Men who hold doors, pull out seats, express gratitude, inquire about your well-being, and introduce you to other people in a manner that makes you feel significant.
Manners indicate that a man values you more than himself. This indicates that he is considering you and the other individuals in the room.
You may not place a high premium on someone’s manners, but they reveal a great deal about his background and what he values in other people as well as himself.
18) He is not a fool
You want a gentleman who is nice and considerate, but also someone who will tell you the truth. You don’t have time for games, and any man who is into games is unsuitable for your company.
Although you may have to learn this lesson the hard way at times, the principles remain the same: you want a man who is honest and genuine with you.
It may seem odd at first, particularly if you are not used to a man being candid with you, but it is really the greatest way to be. You may have confidence in someone who is candid with you.
That is critical because, as Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., writes in Psychology Today, trust is probably the most critical characteristic of a successful relationship:
“Without trust, there is no firm basis upon which to develop emotional closeness, and your risk of being wounded – again — increases exponentially.”
19) He is aware of the value he offers to the table.
Confident men who are not arrogant are the finest kind. Confident guys understand how to respect a woman and are unafraid of your achievement.
Guys who lack confidence do not acquire it by being around a powerful lady. They usually recoil much more when they come into contact with ladies who do not need their services.
Being with a confident guy frees you from having to worry about how you seem and allows you to both be yourself.
20) He understands the meaning of integrity.
Integrity is about doing the right thing even when no one is watching. If you have doubts about his trustworthiness while you are there, you will have much more doubts when you are not present to see what he is doing. However, how can you determine whether a man is trustworthy?
Take note of how he refers to other individuals. What kind of behavior does he endorse, and what are his values?
What does he discuss with you, and are there topics you feel are being left out?
How are others treating him, and what are others saying about him? What others think of a guy may reveal a great deal about him.
21) He comports himself appropriately for his age
Nothing is more horrible than a man-child. If you feel as if you must look after this man or he would crumble and fall apart, he is not the man for you.
You cannot resolve such a situation, no matter how hard you try. Guys that act their age do not need your protection. They will not solicit anything from you or place you in awkward situations.
22) He serves as a reminder to be optimistic.
If there is one characteristic to seek for in a guy, it is optimism. Guys that are a drag will not improve your self-esteem.
If your man is negative, he will not improve unless he wants to improve. If your man is always assisting you in seeing the positive, you’ll want to have him around.
After all, according to the University of Washington’s Whall Health Center, “a good relationship should offer you more pleasure than stress.”
Pretty straightforward, isn’t it?
Any man who can maintain a positive attitude in the face of adversity will be an asset to have around when the going gets tough.
And anybody who has been in a relationship for any length of time knows that there will be difficult moments.
A healthy sense of humor and some positive insight may go a long way toward assisting both of you through those trying moments.
23) He is a gentleman
Not only are good guys nice to you, but also to others. If you’re still undecided about dating a guy, observe how he treats other people.
For centuries, women have scrutinized how a guy treats his mother, but they should also consider how he treats coworkers, wait staff at a neighborhood restaurant, and strangers.
Men who are kind notice people; they do not gloss over them in passing. If he has done this to others, he is likely to do it to you as well.
24) He is appreciative of who you are.
When a guy is secure in his own skin, he will not attempt to convince you to alter who you are.
He’ll not only create space in his life for your greatness, but he’ll also push you to do what feels right for you at every step.
Your strong, independent attitude will not deter him.
25) He is content to take the initiative or to follow.
A guy of integrity is not intimidated by a powerful woman, and as such, if you feel the need to take control of the situation, he will allow you to do so.
However, he is quite content to assume command if the circumstance necessitates it.
There are no resentments here because he understands you two are partners; this is not a contest.
26) He will always accept accountability for his actions.
If he makes a mistake, you can guarantee a respectable guy will quickly admit it.
It may be over, but he’ll be at your doorway telling you everything about it because he doesn’t want you to discover that he dropped the ball from someone else.
If he initiates a conflict, he will acknowledge it. If he arrives late, he will offer no excuses. He’ll just apologize for keeping you waiting.
27) He is receptive to you
It may be difficult to capture and maintain someone’s attention in the era of mobile phones and social media.
When someone is absorbed in their phone, they are communicating to you that anything on the internet is more fascinating than what they are doing right now. Ouch. That is infuriating. However, everyone does it to others.
When a guy is really interested in being with a woman, he will put down his phone and offer you his undivided attention.
He’ll hear you speak and will be able to carry on a discussion with you as a result of his listening. If he is constantly browsing through Facebook to check what his buddies are doing, he lacks respect for you.
Women are stronger than ever and are leading autonomous lives. That is not to say they do not want meaningful connections or that they do not sometimes need someone’s shoulder to weep on.
Strong women need strong men by their sides, yet in today’s culture, finding someone who will stand by you when the going gets rough may be difficult.
If your man picks up the phone when you call and gives you space when you need it, you’ll know he’s unique and respects you.
Support does not always take the form of physical contact: sometimes women need their space, and a decent guy understands when to give it to them.
29) He keeps channels of communication open.
Women often roll their eyes at men’s communication methods. Males and women seem to have distinct communication styles, but women consistently expect men to adapt their communication patterns.
Rather of waiting for your male to mature into a woman, pay attention to how he communicates his desires, needs, and emotions to you on a consistent basis. If he is not a talker, does it mean he does not listen to you when you speak?
If he isn’t much of a talker on the phone, does he text you to let you know he is thinking about you? If he dislikes crowds, does he devote all of his attention to you when the two of you are alone?
Rather of criticizing his communication methods, consider how he keeps channels of communication open. If he respects you, he will demonstrate it not just through his words, but also by his actions.
30) He prioritizes you and your relationship in his life
Women often find themselves pushed aside in favor of a man’s work or acquaintances. If you have encountered this, you are aware that it may result in a great deal of anger and mistrust.
When you’re in a relationship with a guy, he should be able to demonstrate his interest in you by demonstrating that you’re a priority to him.
This does not imply he must abandon a meeting in the middle of the day to bring you ice cream, and you would be a jerk if you believed it did.
This implies he makes time for you and avoids interfering with your alone time with other aspects of his life.
31) He is truthful.
A guy who respects you will always give you the truth, regardless of how difficult it may be. There is a significant difference between a jerk and an honest person.
Sometimes difficult discussions are necessary in partnerships, and if he respects you, he will be willing to have them with you.
If he does not, he will be seen drinking beer with his friends, attempting to escape the issue.
A true gentleman will take the initiative even when it is inconvenient because he understands the relationship, and you, are worth it.
32) He has a beneficial effect on your life
The cold, harsh reality is that you will not always make the best choices in life.
None of us does, since none of us is flawless, and it’s more difficult to view our own lives when we’re emotionally invested.
This is why you need to locate a partner who can objectively assess your circumstance — in a manner that you cannot — and assist you in identifying solutions and directions that are often difficult to uncover on your own.
Find someone who really cares about your well-being in all aspects of your life, not someone who drags you down with their own poor habits.
You want someone who is proud of their lifetime spouse — someone who has pursued her goals and interests and developed into the greatest version of herself possible, so he can be your eternal cheerleader in all you do.
33) He is considerate of you and others.
You are aware of the adage that chivalry is a lost art.
However, this is not entirely true; there are still many individuals who understand and appreciate the importance of fundamental decency, as well as why it is important to be nice and courteous to everyone you encounter.
You want a guy who is not just polite when he is requesting something from you or wooing you during the pre-relationship period.
However, how can you tell the difference between a guy who is putting on a brief act and one who is really as kind and compassionate as he seems to be?
Simply see how he handles others. Is he respectful, patient, and kind to those who work for or with him, to those who serve him, and to animals? Or does he seem to take pleasure in exploiting others and making them feel bad?
34) He is concerned about your family
A true gentleman does not just adore you. He adores your heart, which implies that he adores everyone who is significant to you.
He recognizes that a meaningful, committed relationship entails more than bringing one new person into his life; it is bringing a whole community into his life, a community that includes you and everyone who important to you.
As a result, he treats your tribe as if they were his own parents, friends, or siblings.
And he does it without expecting anything in return; he does it because he cares about your pleasure and sentiments, and he understands that if something terrible happens to them, your emotions would suffer tremendously.
35) He has made a commitment
There is nothing worse than a flaky spouse who is hardly a partner in the first place.
While some men are born with an inherent “relationship-phobia,” you don’t want someone who offers you no guarantee or commitment.
Therefore, consider this: has he done anything to cast doubt on his degree of commitment? Is he evasive when you attempt to introduce him to your friends and family? Is there any aspect of his life that you are unaware of?
All of them are big red flags and are not worth your attention.
36) He has a passionate side
When everything is said and done, and you just want to return home to the guy of your dreams, that man must be a romantic.
And this does not come easily to the majority of guys, who may prefer to leave romance to their spouse.
However, any guy should recognize that you’re worth the romanticism and effort, and if it means sometimes going beyond their comfort zone to provide you with an experience you’ll never forget, that’s something he has to be capable of.
Additionally, keep in mind that not everyone has the same definition or degree of what it means to be romantic.
While his idea of romance may not be what you anticipate, it does not mean he is not making an attempt.
37) He has the same views about life as you do.
When you first begin dating someone, you are unlikely to inquire about their most fundamental religious, political, and moral views.
You’re still getting to know them and determining if they “vibe” with you, which at this stage implies whether they’re enjoyable to be around.
However, while looking for a companion with whom to settle down, you need someone who is more than “fun.” It is critical that you find someone who shares your fundamental values – someone who will not argue with you spiritually when it comes to parenting your children, constructing your house, or making critical life decisions.
These are issues that must be addressed before to entering a committed relationship; otherwise, you will run across these issues down the line, long after your lives have gotten too intertwined.
Is he similarly sentimental about you?
Whether you’ve met a decent guy who checks the majority of the 37 boxes I listed above, you’ll want to know if he feels the same way about you.